


You make me want to believe in miracles

by Hemingway72



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Character Death, Dean is a Handyman, Domestic, F/M, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jody is Foster Parent, Kid Alex, Kid Claire Novak, Kid Fic, Kid Jack Kline, M/M, Military Homophobia, Past Soldier Castiel, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Single Parent Castiel (Supernatural), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:35:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28514292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hemingway72/pseuds/Hemingway72
Summary: “Because for some reason she looked at me and thought I would be a good father…”Castiel Novak knew how to be a good solider. He served seven years in the military with three tours overseas earning the rank of Captain. Less than three months after ending his military service, he finds himself thrust into the role of father. Five years later he is thriving, but his world revolves around Jack. He hasn’t given much thought to romance until the day Dean Winchester shows up to fix his leaky roof. For both men, entering into the relationship also means confronting memories of the past.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Kelly Kline/Lucifer (Supernatural)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically just a fic of the tropes that I love (not all of them, but quite a few). First things first, make sure to read the tags, I've added what I think are important starting out to know but I will try to update as I post. Additionally in the notes at the end of the chapter I will post anything that may be a content/trigger warning. Also after the warnings I may post fun facts/additional information. 
> 
> As of now I have about 30,000 words pre-written and I will attempt to post once a week.

**_The Past: 5 Years Ago_ **

Castiel had been stateside for three months when he heard a knock at his door. He had no idea what time it was as he had fallen asleep on the couch watching some sitcom that everyone kept on making references to. Although he supposed that the whiskey bottle that was getting dangerously low had a large part in his sleepy nature. Another knock.

“Coming…” he shouted as he shoved his feet into a pair of slippers before answering the door. He should have checked the peep hole because he felt himself freeze as he saw the policeman standing in the dimly lit hallway of his apartment. “Can I help you officers?” He stood up straighter as he met their eyes. Before they said anything Castiel knew the nature of the conversation he was about to have. It was a conversation his own family had dreaded having while he was overseas.

“Are you Castiel Novak?”

“Yes. Come in.” His one-bedroom apartment didn’t have a lot of options so he was forced to lead them into living room. The living room that was scattered with glasses that once held whiskey and take-out containers. “I apologize for the mess.” He sat down and one of them sat beside him as the other sat beside him. Castiel between them until one of the spoke:

“Your brother Luke Novak and his partner, Kelly Kline, were involved in a car accident early tonight. Luke was dead on arrival and Kelly had been transported to Sacred Heart Hospital.” The words came out blunt and emotionless. He knew when you informed someone of a death you had to use concrete language. This was a conversation that he had unfortunately had to have a few times over the years that he was deployed.

Castiel thought he had to be dreaming. His nightmares had been particularly vivid as of late. “Would I be able to see her?” he asked slowly wiping a hand over his face. Kelly had been dating his brother on and off for the better part six years. He didn’t know why she was with him tonight; last he heard they had a big fight when she told Luke she was pregnant. Luke was doing the very Luke thing by avoiding her at all costs.

The officers exchanged looks. Castiel briefly wondered if he was not acting the way they expected. He had held himself together when he had lost men before, and he was not about to cry over his brother in front of these strangers. Perhaps if it was Gabriel, but not over Luke. There was a reason he had been nicknamed Lucifer.

“Why don’t you get dressed and we can drive you?” The officer in front of the TV looked at the whiskey on the table. Castiel didn’t argue that he was sober. Instead he went to his bedroom and mechanically reached for a clean t-shirt, button down, and a pair of jeans. He grabbed sneakers that still felt rather strange to him compared to the combat boots he’d gotten used to.

The officers took him to the hospital and helped him bypass the nurses that insisted only family could come. Castiel knew that Kelly had no family that would come. She often spoke of her strained relationship with her parents to him. Telling him how disappointed they were that she was still with Luke and how she needed to find a nice man. How she should move closer, get a career more stable than chief of staff to some state senator. Surprisingly she was awake he finally reached her room.“Cas…” Her voice was weak. “Did you see Luke?”

“Not yet…” He pulled a chair to her bedside as he took her hand.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” Her eyes were filled with tears as she leaned back against the pillows. “I know his reputation, Cas. I know what your family calls him. He wasn’t perfect but he wanted to be Jack’s father.” A hand went to her mouth to swallow a cry. “That’s what he wanted to tell me tonight.”

“Jack?” he asked as he eyes rested on her swollen stomach. How big it had grown since he last saw her only a few weeks ago. 

“That’s what I want to name our baby, after my father.”

“It’s nice.”

“Do you have your phone on you?”

Castiel nodded and held it out to her. There was no passcode so she opened up his camera app. “What are you doing?”

“The doctors don’t know if I’ll make it, Cas. Right now, Jack is safe, but they said that as soon as I’m stable, they want to perform a c-section. I wanted to make a video for you to show him.”

“Why me?” he questioned, but he knew the answer.

“If something happens, I want you to take care of him. You would be such a good father Castiel.” She squeezed his hand tightly. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but you were always there for me. Even when you were overseas you still kept in contact. Still listened to me complain about my job and Luke.” She set the phone down and reached for his hand to squeeze. “The only other option is my parents. Maybe they’ll want to meet Jack someday, but Cas…I trust you.” Tears flowed down her cheeks. “Besides if he lived with my parents, he wouldn’t have your dad or Gabriel or Anna looking out for him.”  
“You’re going to make it, Kelly.”

Her smile was weak as she looked at him. He didn’t know what else to say so he pressed record and stepped out into the hall. After that hours passed in the blink of the eye. He spoke to a lawyer the hospital contacted so Kelly could make her last wishes known just in case. Soon his siblings all arrived. Michael dealt with everything having to do with Luke as Anna dealt with trying to contact their parents and Kelly’s. Gabriel was Gabriel. He got donuts and coffee trying to lighten the mood, help everyone carry the burden. Castiel didn’t leave Kelly’s side once he had greeted them.

She spoke with him all through the night and Castiel just listened. This women who at one point he thought he loved, who he had gotten into fights with Luke over. She was his friend first after all, before she had even met Luke. Kelly could see past the charming smile and manipulative words that Luke spoke. This beautiful, kind women who saw the best in everyone. The woman that had so much hope.

Castiel didn’t know when the contractions started, but he saw the fear in the doctor’s eyes as they decided it would be best to deliver naturally if the baby was coming. He stayed by her side in the delivery room. It was there he witnessed what had to be a true act of God as Kelly held her newborn son to her chest. She cried tears of joy and told him how much she loved him. Castiel pressed a kiss to her forehead. For a brief second, he thought that Kelly was wrong, that she would live. The miracle, though, was the few moments she had with her son before he saw her eyes flutter shut. There was beeping and commotion all around him as one nurse took the baby and another took him out of the room.

It was Anna who found him sitting on the floor in the hallway of the hospital. His knees were pressed to his chest with his arms wrapped around him. “The doctors were looking for you,” she whispered. Somehow, she pried his arms loose and got him off the ground as she led him to the nursery. “Jack is healthy even if he is a few weeks early.”

“She wants me to be his father.”

“Better than Lucifer,” she muttered.

“We shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.” Castiel looked at his younger sister and she wrapped her arms around him, knowing she had to be the one to initiate the affection. “How am I supposed to care for a baby? I live in a one-bedroom apartment, the VA has me in therapy twice a week, and I have a dead-end bookkeeper job.”

“There are baby books you can read, we all will be happy to help you, we all know you can afford a better place. I’m not touching the therapy because we all know you need it.”

Castiel wiped a hand over his face. As he stared at the face of the tiny child, he was responsible for. Anna and him stood there for a while until Gabriel found them. To his surprise, Gabriel laid a hand on his shoulders and said nothing. It was then he realized it was another small miracle he didn’t re-enlist. He still didn’t know if he believed in God, but there had to be a reason that this small child was in his life.

**_The Past: Four Years Ago_ **

“Anna _please_. Gabriel’s busy and I can’t leave Jack with Michael…” Currently Castiel was trying to put a diaper on a squirming Jack while the phone was between his ear and neck.

“You know my schedule. I’m sorry Cas. Can’t you just skip?”

“No, I can’t miss group meeting again.”

“Just bring him.”

Castiel sighed as he looked down at his son. His carefully planned schedule had been thrown off kilter with Gabriel’s spontaneous trip. Anna was a doctoral student and had the most flexible schedule of all his family. Well, except for his father, but he had gone to a cabin while he finished edits on his latest novel.

“You and me buddy,” he muttered to Jack.

The fall weather was not particularly hot so he picked out a striped shirt and pair of overalls. Castiel had a distaste for the onesies with words all over them that his aunts and uncles seemed to adore. Then he packed his back pack with everything that he thought he would need. Anna teased him that he was over prepared, but Castiel could never be too sure. “You should always be early,” he said to Jack as he put on shoes and socks. “Do you think I look presentable?” He held out his arms wearing his standard button down with chinos and loafers.

The drive to the veteran’s resource center from his apartment was less than 10 minutes. As he drove, he looked at Jack tucked in his car seat in the back. Life with him was not better, but not worse. It was different. A part of him was thankful for the child. He gave his life purpose and direction. One that he had been sorely lacking when he reentered civilian life.

As he pulled in the parking lot, he saw the rain starting to sprinkle. His trench coat was in the back and he was thankful for the jacket he packed for Jack. The two trekked across the parking lot and upon entering the building his eyes great fully landed on the table laden with coffee and cookies. “Only one cookie today,” he whispered to the child as he stopped.

Doing things one handed was not a parental super power he had acquired. As he went to grab sugar for his coffee, Jack reached towards the cookie plate setting off his balance. The only thing keeping him from cursing was the child in his arms that was quickly developing his verbal skills.

“Need a hand?” he heard a man ask. The person next to him was not any of the other men he shared group with, but a stranger. He towered over Castiel not only in height, but he was broad shouldered as well. His inclination went towards distrust as he took in his suit and hair that hung loosely going nearly to his chin.

“I have it, thank you.” When he went to grab a napkin, he knocked over a tower of cups. “Perhaps, would you mind…?”

The man took Jack from him easily. He even smiled when he went to grab a fistful of his long hair that brushed against the collar of his shirt. “Sam Winchester.”

“Castiel Novak. That is Jack,” he said as he added cream and sugar to his coffee. “I have not seen you around here before. Are you here for group? Perhaps you need to question someone…” The only person that would step foot in here in a full suit had to be an FBI Agent or perhaps an uptight police detective.

“Oh, no, I’m actually volunteering…” He leaned his head back, likely trying to get Jack to let go. “Does he do this with his mother?” Sam asked as he innocently laughed.

“No, he does not.” Cas reached for a cookie and wrapped it in a napkin before placing it in the front pocket of his backpack. “His mother is dead.”

“I’m so sorry, man.”

“You didn’t know,” Cas said simply as he held his arms out to take the child back. “What are you doing as a volunteer?”

“Pro bono legal services.” A wide grin crossed his face as he dug in his pocket to dig out his card.

“How noble.” Castiel set the coffee down and slid the business card into his front pocket. “I apologize if that sounded sarcastic. My brother says my statements often come off as sarcastic.” He looked at the clock on the wall. “I am sure that I will see you around if you continue to come, but I need to head into group therapy.”

“Yeah, see you around.”

Castiel walked into the group meeting where only a handful of people had arrived. He hated bringing Jack to these but it was more a support group than therapy. No one was bothered by it, but sometimes he worried about the things that Jack would overhear. All of these men had served in combat roles, had seen the worsts that war had to offer. Most everything now was about adjusting to this life.

“Gabe drop the ball again?” It was Hannah. She was the only woman in their small group and she was always happy to see Jack. _Not that I'm ready for one of my own, I’ll just live vicariously through you._

“Unfortunately.” Castiel set a blanket on the ground and gave Jack one of his favorite toys.

“We like seeing him.” She smiled widely.

“He is a distraction.”

“Perhaps, but at least he gets to spend more time with you.”

Castiel couldn’t be mad at the statement. He pulled the snickerdoodle out of the bag and gave it to Jack. The group was thankfully fairly light in tone. There was a lot of talk of job interviews and relationship trouble. When it came to Castiel he smiled and not only because Jack was quietly entertained by his picture book. 

“I have good news. I have started the training for peer support specialist. That means before Jack starts preschool I can hopefully quit working at the super market.” They asked him some questions, but the mood turned congratulatory.

Yes, life was much different with Jack, but things were going to Castiel’s way.

**_The Past: 2 Years Ago_ **

Castiel held his phone as Jack posed in front of the apartment door. The small child took a lot of coaxing to get a smile on his serious face, but Castiel couldn’t resist. It was his first day of preschool and he looked so precious in his uniform. He wore navy pants with a pale blue button down underneath a red trimmed navy sweater.

“Are we going?”

“One more…” Castiel ran forward and knelt down beside him as he took a selfie. While he found them distasteful on most occasions, being a single parent sometimes called for it.

“We’re matching,” Jack said.

Castiel supposed they were, but not on purpose. He was wearing a button down and slacks. “You are right. How funny.” He held out his hand and looked him over. “I suppose it is time to set out. You have everything.”

“Yes, daddy.”

_Daddy._ The words of Kelly haunted him nearly every day, _you would be such a good father._ He couldn’t really tell Jack the truth yet. Castiel did the best of not hiding it, of keeping a photo with Luke and Kelly with the rest of the photos of his family. He tried to see if he could recognize his brother’s features in Jack, but he was all Kelly. He saw her in Jacks smile and his eyes and his hair. 

“Daddy, let’s go!”

Castiel held his hand tightly as they went to the parking garage. He made sure Jack was secure in booster seat before slid into the driver’s side. The way there he had to force himself to keep his eyes on the road. As he pulled up to the Catholic school, he couldn’t help but feel out of place with his old Lincoln Continental among all the SUVs and hybrids. “Now before we go in do you know the plan?”

“Aunt Anna picks me up!”

“Yes, and I will be at her place at 4:15 precisely.”

Castiel got out of the car and led Jack by the hand. As he neared the front door, the emotions he felt were strange. How weird it felt to leave Jack with perfect strangers. Everyone had told him the child would benefit from starting preschool so soon, but Castiel had never left him with anyone that wasn’t family. Thankfully he was not the only teary-eyed guardian there as it was only kindergarten and preschool coming today.

“Hello!” The person who greeted him at the door was a young woman wearing a conservative floral print dress, a cross pendant hanging from her neck. “And you are?”

“This is Jack Kline.” Castiel gave Jack a gentle nudge forward.

“Welcome Mr. Kline!” the teacher said to him.

“Mr. Novak,” he softly corrected.

“Oh…” Her mouth fell into a frown, but she quickly fixed her smile as she greeted Jack and handed him a name tag in the shape of a car. Castiel felt his throat tighten as he knelt down to say goodbye.

“Don’t be sad Daddy, I’ll see you soon!”

“Yes, you will. I promise.” Castiel probably hugged him too tight and too long, but he couldn’t help himself. Before long he was forced to let go and watched as one of the class assistants helped him put away his backpack.

“Your first?” a kind voice asked.

Castiel saw a woman with short cropped hair wearing a police uniform holding out a tissue. “How can you tell?” He took it from her and dabbed at his eyes. There was little to wipe up but it was still a kind gesture.

“It’s my second time. Jody Mills, my daughter Claire is in Ms. Sunder’s class as well.”

He shook her hand as firmly and gave her a polite smile. “Castiel Novak, my child is named Jack.”

“It’s nice seeing dads come to these sort of things.”

“I believe in being an active parent. I’ve already signed up for room parent next week and am looking forward to the upcoming PTA meetings.”

Jody laughed, and leaned in closely. “You got a few minutes to talk?”

“I have to be at work in thirty minutes. I permitted myself enough time to emotionally steady myself.” Castiel followed her as they walked to the parking lot. His car didn’t stick out quite as badly as the beige truck with North Cove Sheriff stenciled on it.

“It’s good your excited, but they will eat you alive. Don’t seem too over eager even if you’re excited.”

“I don’t understand.”

Jody looked him up and down. “The moms in the grade will take advantage of the cute, naïve, single father.”

“How…”

“I saw it on your face when I said it was nice for dad’s to be involved. Besides, us single parents have a radar.”

He nodded knowingly as they both pulled out their phones to exchange contact information. It looked like he had gotten lucky yet again.

**_Past: One Year Ago_ **

“You are a saint, Jody,” Castiel said as he walked through her front door.

“Just a play date…”

“And dinner. With the move you have no idea how hard cooking has been. I’m pretty sure even Jack is fed up with microwave meals and pizza.”

“Kids thrive on that stuff.” Jody led him into the kitchen as she poured out a glass of iced tea for him, taking a beer for herself. “Besides I should thank you. I swear Jack is the only kid that’s not terrified of Claire.”

“Claire is a sweet child.” He looked out of the window to the backyard where Jack had bolted. Claire was currently engaged in imaginative battle with some sort of monster. He only hoped that her descriptions wouldn’t be _too_ graphic or he would have to deal with the repurcussions which would most likely be an extra chapter in the book and Jack wanting him to stay until he fell asleep. 

“If by sweet you mean high-spirited, stubborn, too clever for her own good, and prone to violence.”

“And protective and loyal and caring…” Castiel said. “You know the only reason she got into that fight was because of Jack.” As he watched the child play it was clear that he had not inherited any of the traits of Luke. Luke had a quick temper, and an even quicker tongue. Jack was quiet and gentle, sometime misinterpreted as being shy. 

“I know, it’s just hard.” She watched as Alex tried to kick a soccer ball around the back yard only to be blocked by Claire as she gestured around. Jack was the one that stepped between the two of them and handed the soccer ball back to Alex. “Does Jack like peas?” Not even hiding the fact she was trying to change the subject.

“He will eat them.”

“Claire will probably pout, but it’s what I have on hand.” She set the beer down as she grabbed a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer. “So, tell me about this new place.”

“I’ll have you over soon. It’s small, but all I really need. Open downstairs, two bedrooms upstairs. The lake view is pleasant. However, it will need a bit of work. I suppose that is the tradeoff for such a low price.”

Jody smirked as poured the peas into a pan with a bit of water. She opened the oven letting out the wonderful smell of her roast chicken. “I am pretty handy myself if you need help.”

“I thank you for the offer, but I am more than capable of the minor repairs that are required.” He grabbed a fork to poke potatoes that were boiling. They were soft, so he grabbed them to dump out the water. Jody no longer told him he was a guest. The two had grown close rather quickly and had dinner together at least once a week. Unlike what the other parents at school thought—he and Jody were often the topic of rumors as the only single parents in the class—it was nice to have someone to lean on. Someone that knew what you were going through.

“I know…” Jody has a smirk on her face as she leaned against the counter, and taking a drink of her beer. “So…”

“I am not going on date with Donna.”

“How did you guess that?”

“Your mannerisms and you told me at pick-up a few days ago that she broke up with that man she was dating.”

“Cas, come on. Maybe she’s a little pushy, but I think you could use someone that bosses you around. Besides the last guy she dated nearly fainted when he saw her side arm.”

“Just because I was in the army do not think I am a fan of guns.”

“But you won’t be intimidated by her.”

Castiel did not say anything but narrowed his eyes and set the potatoes on the counter. “I will get the children to wash up. That will be the more difficult task compared to what needs to be finished.”

Jody seemed to drop the subject as he rounded up the three of them and stewarded them towards the bathroom to scrub away the layer of dirt on their hands. By the time he convinced Claire, Alex had set the table and Jody laid out the food.

“Thank you for dinner. It looks delicious,” Jack said as Castiel helped him load his plate.

“Thank you, Jack, it is very nice of you to say.” Jody looked at her daughter who stuck her tongue out at her friend as soon as Castiel wasn’t looking. “Claire do you like dinner?”

“Peas are dumb.”

“How can peas be dumb?” Jack questioned as he looked at Castiel.

“She is trying to convey that peas displease her.”

“Mom, what is Mr. Novak even saying?” Alex whined.

“I assume that you have trouble with the word ‘convey’ it means to let someone know something, to communicate. Displease is to make unhappy.” Castiel picked up his fork and knife to eat his chicken. He looked around the table as Claire and Alex had bored looks across their face, Jody was trying to hold back a laugh. “It seems my conversational skills are not appreciated once more.”

“It’s good for them.” Jody then turned the conversation to the kids, doing a much better job at coaxing them to talk. She was good even with Jack. Soon the room was filled with stories from school. Castiel did his best to listen, but he only caught bits and pieces as he planned what needed to be done with his house.

“Are you coming to career day?” Alex questioned, pulling Castiel out of his head. “Mom was the class favorite when I brought her in and Claire said that it was next week.”

“The teacher approached me. I had yet to speak with Jack about it.”

“Dad, you should do it. I would get to see you _and_ Mrs. Mills at school.”

“I suppose.” Castiel shrugged his shoulders.

“What do you do?” Claire asked.

“I am a veteran peer support specialist,” he answered quickly. When he received blank looks, he thought briefly how to rephrase it. “I help out other soldiers who have come home.”

“Were you a soldier?” Alex questioned.

“Yes,” he answered. He saw the two girls exchange confused looks. Jack was not surprised he had seen photos and had been to the resource center with him many times. “But I wouldn’t talk about that.”

“Why not?” Claire asked.

Castiel looked to Jody for help. Thankfully she got a hint. “Sometimes it can be hard. You know how I don’t always like to talk about my day at work?”

The girls nodded.

“That’s how it is for Mr. Novak, besides it was a long time ago.”

It seemed like a lifetime ago. It was in a way, Jack’s lifetime. “I brought ice cream and cones. You three can have them as soon as you eat your vegetable and if you promise to eat them in the backyard.”

After that they were refocused on finishing their food. Jody was in charge of ice cream as he cleaned off the table. By the time he was pouring food in Tupperware containers she sighed as she leaned against the counter. “You distracted them for a while.”

“That was my plan.” He finished the task at hand as Jody scooped their ice cream into bowls. “I apologize if I’m not very personable tonight.”

“I shouldn’t have pushed you about going on a date. Besides I don’t think Donna could handle your sarcasm.” She handed him the bowl of ice cream. “I’m preaching to the choir anyway. I haven’t been on a date since Sean died and that was seven years ago.”

“I tried dating. If you remember Meg.” He smiled fondly remembering the passionate, sharp-witted woman. The handful of dates they went on were some of the best he’d ever had, but there was something holding him back. Meg broke it off saying she was ready to settle down and that wasn’t fair to Jack.

“I didn’t even know you then,” Jody responded. “What are you even looking for?”

“Jody, my siblings are already trying to locate the perfect spouse. It’s been their mission ever since Gabriel started dating Kali.”

“I will not meddle.” She put her bowl in the kitchen sink and looked outside. “However, I think we should interfere in that.” She gestured to the children who looked to be up to mischief.

That night when Castiel was lying in bed he tries to think of the answer to the question. He couldn’t dream up any physical characteristics, but instead sketched the type of person he wanted. First and foremost, would be someone that would love Jack as their own. He wanted someone confident and not afraid to stand their ground against him. He needed someone more open, not afraid to love. As he laid there he briefly wondered if it wasn’t a woman. It was something that he had not allowed himself to consider since college, since before he had gone into the military. He decided then if he was lucky enough to have someone drop in his life, he would take a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the beginning Cas is drinking, references his problem with alcohol later. The police inform Cas of a car accident, and that his brother is dead. Cas speaks with Kelly in the hospital, she later passes away too after giving birth to Jack. 
> 
> As a law student (at least at my school) often times you can join a clinic where you provide free legal help under supervision of a professor. One of those clinics is wills and trusts. Our law school is like five blocks from a hospital so sometimes the clinic does receive phone calls from the hospital wanting to help people with wills.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on assume everything is in the present. Additionally, most everything is from Castiel's perspective, but there is going to be some from Dean's perspective starting in this chapter.

**Present**

Castiel’s good luck seemed to run out one muggy June day. The prior day it had been blistering hot, but now the sky was thick with dark clouds. He only hoped it wasn’t thunder, because no matter how many times Castiel reassured him and shown him documentaries on weather, it still terrified Jack. He didn’t even have to look outside to see if it was raining because he found a puddle in their upstairs hall.

“Fuck,” he whispered. He doesn’t often curse but he’s already running behind and he has to drop Jack off at the summer day camp which is at the YMCA across town from the resource center.

“Daddy?” Jack asked. He’s dressed himself in a striped shirt and shorts that have little lobsters embroidered all over them. He looks horrendous, but he doesn’t have time to care.

“We will leave soon.”

“What about breakfast?”

Castiel tried not to curse again as he mopped the water with a cloth and put the biggest bucket he could find under the leak. “Can you eat in the car?”

“You said I wasn’t supposed to.”

Castiel did say that. He had finally upgraded from his well-loved Lincoln Continental to a brand-new Prius. “As long as you promise to be careful.” Castiel doesn’t quite care right now. He practically runs down the stairs and finds a granola bar and banana for Jack. After he checks his backpack, they are off in the car.

By the time he arrives at the resource center he ends up being five minutes early and found out that his first appointment of the day canceled. He lets himself take a deep breath as he goes out front to grab a cup of coffee.

“Rough morning?” It’s Sam. The young attorney who comes to the resource center and spends the whole day there the second Thursday of every month. He has been since the day that Castiel had met him.

“I have a leak in my roof,” Castiel said as he dumped sugar into his coffee. “How does one even go about fixing that?”

“You need a recommendation?”

Sam Winchester seemed to know just about everyone. When his old car gave him trouble, he told him about Bobby Singer. The man was a magician and probably the only reason that Castiel could delay buying a car for six weeks. When his laptop seemed to be failing, he told him about Charlie Bradbury. She was so good he was almost positive that the alterations she made weren’t quite legal. “If they are like Bobby and Charlie.”

“My brother.” Sam walked to the front desk and asked for pen and paper. “Now I can’t vouch for his people skills, but he’s never met a problem he can’t fix. I’ll text him to let him know you’ll be calling.”

“Thank you, it is much appreciated.”

“And the only help you let me give you,” Sam teased. “Like I said, if you ever need a babysitter my fiancé Eileen would be more than happy to.”

“Next time Charlie invites me out I will take you up on that offer, how about that?”

“Sounds good man. I will see you around. I have to meet with client in five.”

Castiel looks down at the slip of paper and sees the name: _Dean_. It’s written in the neat handwriting with his number to follow. For some reason Castiel can’t help but hope that Dean will be something like Sam.

**_Dean’s Perspective_ **

When Sam had texted Dean that he needed him to do a job ASAP, he almost bailed on it. That was until his brother called him and explained it was for friend from the resource center he volunteered at. He didn’t say anything but the man had called him, _Castiel_. His voice was deep and grumbly. He liked helping out old guys most of the time. Usually, they ended up being repeat customers and when he finished a job, they would invite him to sit down with a beer and talk.

After he turned down the road and the lake house came into view, he realized that is not the case. The house was quaint two-story cabin painted bright white. There’s raised garden beds that appear to be growing vegetables and a swing set with a slide attached. He sees two cars: a shiny new Prius and rusted Lincoln Continental. For a moment he considered calling Sam to yell at him because he’s doing this friend a favor by working on a Saturday and he never works on the weekend. The last thing he wants is to see one of Sam’s stuck-up lawyer friends.

Dean instead got out of his work truck and walks to the door where he knocks. He waited a few moments but he heard a lot of voices from inside. When the door swung open, he saw about the handsomest man he’s laid his eyes on in a while. He’s about his age with dark hair standing on end and bright blue eyes. For a Saturday at home, he’s dressed in khaki’s and blue button down. Definitely one of Sam’s lawyer friends.

“I apologize for my rudeness, but you knocked at an inopportune time and I—”

There’s a crash followed by some shouting and a giggling then a: “Mr. Novak!” The man’s shoulders drop as he ran back into the house. Dean tried to peek his head in through the doorway, resisting the urge to go inside. The house was clean and organized, the only sign of kids is the sound he heard and the swings out front.

“Need me to fix something else?” Dean joked when the man came back.

“What? No, just the roof is fine…” He stopped and tilted his head. “Oh, you meant that. The children are insisting that the floor is lava. Have you heard of such a thing?”

Dean wondered where the hell Sammy found the guy. “I actually have, fun game.”

“Oh, well let’s get to business.” He stepped out of the house and gestured to the roof. “When I bought the house a year ago, they said it should last for a few more years, but I am starting to doubt that.” He stopped and blinked a few times. “Once again, being rude. Castiel Novak, you came highly recommended by your brother.”

“Dean Winchester.” He stuck out his hand to shake the man’s and was surprised at the firmness of the handshake. Surprised that the hands weren’t all that smooth. He held Castiel’s hand for a second too long, but he didn’t exactly want to let go.

“Right. I will try to keep the children out of your hair. Feel free to come inside to use the bathroom or get water.”

“Thanks…” He watched as the men went back into the house. Dean was puzzled as he gets to work on the roof inspection. After poking around, he discovered the news that was good for his wallet, but not what Castiel will want to here. Someone like him will probably chew him out. This will be the last time he took one of his brother’s friends.

He knocked on the door again, but this time it is not Castiel but a girl that looked vaguely familiar instead. She couldn’t be more than seven with straight dark hair and brown eyes. She looked nothing like the man. “Can I talk with Mr. Novak?” Instead of saying anything she nodded and ran back inside the house. He saw two other children standing further back. They look to be the same age a little boy with neat brown hair and a little girl with wild blonde curls.

“Do you require something Mr. Winchester?” Castiel questioned.

“I just wanted to talk about what needs to be done.”

“Come on in.” He doesn’t say anything about Dean talking off his work boots, which he finds strange. The entire house is immaculate. Even with having three children running around any clutter could be picked up in five minutes. “I am in the middle of baking cookies. A bribe for the children I am afraid.”

Dean found himself standing in the butter yellow kitchen watching as the man poured him a glass of water from a frosty pitcher.

“It is awfully warm outside.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Dean downed the water, trying not to look at the man in front of him. “Listen, I’m mainly just a handyman. You are going to need a whole new roof. I have some guys I know that would be more than happy to help do it. It’ll just cost a little more.”

Castiel sighed. At that point a kitchen timer when off and he grabbed an oven mitt to pull out a tray of cookies. “My brother Michael warned me that I would probably need a roof when I bought the house…” He picked up a spatula and began to move them onto a cooling rack. “If you’re Sam’s brother I trust you. I was hoping that it could be completed this weekend, but I understand.”

“That’s a relief.” 

“Pardon?”

“Nothing, a lot of Sam’s work friends aren’t too patient with me.”

“Did Sam not tell you we met at the resource center?”

“Yeah, it’s just…”

Castiel didn’t make him finish. Instead, he grabbed a paper towel and handed Dean two of the cookies. He promised he would pay him for the time he spent today evaluating the roof. Dean told him he would call him with an estimate and a time frame. Even if he wanted to call Castiel for entirely unprofessional reasons.

Dean would be lying if he said that he was disappointed the next time he showed up at Castiel’s house to work on the roof he was gone. He supposed that meant he kept regular hours because he would show up at nine and the shiny Prius would be gone. He supposed it would be for the best. It wasn’t like he could hide anything from Benny, and Garth was surprisingly perceptive.

They finished in three days’ time, and Castiel was there for none of it. He started to think that the check would just be mailed for him. Instead, he is surprised to receive a text message from Castiel asking him if he would come over to pick up the check on Sunday. Since he wasn’t working, he took his Impala and drives to the quaint little lake house.

Today it was quiet when he knocked on the door. Castiel answered, looking more relaxed even if he’s still dressed in business casual. The next thing he noticed is the warm smell of cinnamon in the air.

“Thanks for coming. Just follow me…”

Dean followed him through the house, no longer as worried at having to face the man’s wrath for his work boots tracking in dirt. Honestly, he was surprised to see the little boy perched on a bar stool in the kitchen. “Where’s the rest of them?”

“I only have the one son,” Castiel replied as he pulled his checkbook out of the drawer.

“Those are Mrs. Mills kids. Claire is my best friend,” Jack said and looked up at Dean. “My name is Jack.”

“Dean.” He held out a hand for the kid to shake. Even though he was much smaller, Dean could tell he was trying to shake it firmly.

“He is Sam’s brother,” Castiel said plainly to his son.

“He’s not tall like Sam.”

“Nah, Sam is like part Sasquatch,” Dean said with a laugh, but saw that confusion crossed his face.

“It’s a mythical creature, said to be extremely large. Think of a grizzly bear walking on two feet. It is otherwise referred to as bigfoot,” Castiel explained.

Dean watched as the kid simply nodded along to the words. He seemed like he understood what Castiel was saying. The kid had to be like what, five at the very most? When he was a kid, he wouldn’t have understood half of what came out of Castiel’s mouth.

“Here is the check,” Castiel slid a check across the counter, but he also set a pie down in front of him. “I asked Sam. He said that pie was your favorite.”

“Thank you, but…” Dean will never turn down a pie, especially not one that looks like this. There’s a lattice work of crust and it’s sprinkled with sugar, pieces of cinnamon apple peek out.

“After you told me the roof needed replaced, I asked my brother for some advice—he works in real estate. He told me an approximate cost for how much the contractor he works with charges his clients and yours was significantly less. It seemed as if giving you a tip for the difference may be an insult since you were so kind, so I made a pie.”  
“Daddy is really good at baking,” Jack said. “He made a pie for us too. We had it for dessert last night.”

“Just gave you the family discount,” Dean replied slowly.

“We are not family.” The words come out slowly, like he can’t believe what Dean had said.

“Family’s not just blood. Sam thinks you’re a good guy and…” Dean looked at Jack with a smile on his face. “Sometimes people should cut good guys a break.”

Castiel blinked slowly. “I…”

“Just let me know if you need help with anything else.” Dean pulled a card out of his pocket and set it on the counter. “I used to build houses so I’m comfortable with a lot.”

“I will keep that in mind.” Castiel moved to pin the card on a bulletin board. A few moments passed before he turned around again. “I may need my house painted soon. Would that be something you could do?”

It is his turn to be caught off guard. “Do it all the time. Especially if part of my pay comes in baked goods.” He laughed. “At least if your pie is half as good as the cookies you made me.”

“It is.”

“Well, thanks again. I should be going.”  


Sunday night is typically family dinner. Typically, he shows up to Bobby and Ellen’s around 4. He’s a little late since he swung by Castiel’s and it took longer than he thought. When he pulls his car into the driveway, he smiles seeing Jo’s truck. In a split-second decision, he grabbed the pie Castiel made him. Partially because if he took it home, he wouldn’t have the self-control to not eat the entire thing for breakfast.

He grabbed it as he walks into the house. “Where is everyone?”

“Backyard, bring beer!”

After placing the pie on the counter, he grabbed the two six packs from the fridge and walked outside. Ellen and Bobby are arguing over the grill. He dropped the beer on the picnic table.

“I thought you weren’t coming,” Bobby grumbled.

“I never stay away from Ellen’s cooking.” He winked and gave her a hug before clapping a hand on Bobby’s shoulder. “I just had some work to finish up.”

He walked over to the picnic table. “Eileen and Jo here together, am I dreaming?”  
“Considering we have our clothes on, that’s probably a no,” Jo teased, punching his shoulder as he sat down beside her. “And where were you? I wanted to surprise you, usually you spend all day here.”

“Had to do something.”

“You don’t work weekends,” Eileen said.

“The dude Sam wanted me to help asked me to stop by to pick up a check.”

“Castiel,” Sam explained to his girlfriend. “Dean fixed his roof.”

A smile spread across Eileen’s face. “Did you meet Jack? I keep on offering to babysit, but I swear he only lets Jody watch him.”

“Uh, yeah I did…” He reached for a beer and smashed it against the table to get the top off before taking a long drag. He recalled the kid mentioning Mrs. Mills. North Cove was small, so it wasn’t that weird that Castiel was friends with her.

“Who is this Castiel? Dean’s practically blushing.”  
“I am not…” He shoved Jo playfully. “The guy is weird, Sam. He baked me a pie.” He turned to Jo. “And I’m sharing, you don’t need to rag on me for eating pie for breakfast.”

Sam shrugged his shoulders. “Like I said before, he’s a good guy---”

Dean eyes got wide as he shook a finger in his brother’s face. “Are you trying to set me up?” he said accusatorily. “You did the same with Cassie, and then Robin.” He groaned as Eileen’s laugh gave it away. He was even more mad that it had worked.

“You know I covered for Ellen at the Roadhouse last night. Everyone was asking me where Dean was. Unless you changed your hunting ground you haven’t even had a one-night stand—”

Dean sighed and took another drink of his beer. “Can we change the subject? Can’t Jo talk about college or something?”

They seemed to get the hint as he drank one beer fast, and then another. He hadn’t been shy with Sam about the fact he liked men just as much as women. Hell, even Ellen knew. She’d seen him take home guys from the Roadhouse before. Sam, though, had never set him up with a man. Especially not someone like Castiel. There was no way he’d be interested him. Someone like Castiel probably fit in with Sam’s nerd friends from the law firm. Just because he worked at the resource center didn’t mean he didn’t have some fancy degree. There’s no way he’d want to get with Dean. Not only that but he had a kid. Robin was the sexy musician and Cassie was no nonsense reporter. Robin was nothing more than a fling, as much as he liked Cassie—hell, loved her—they both were on the same page when it came to settling down. Not for them, not yet. Both types of women that he could have fun with, no strings attached. Castiel didn’t seem like a no strings attached sort of guy. And Dean, he wasn’t ready, the last thing he wanted to do was screw things up with someone he could like, especially after Lisa.


	3. Chapter 3

It was late June when Castiel was in his office finishing up paperwork. With any luck he would be able to finish up early and pick up Jack from his summer camp. That brought a smile to his face as he’d been begging to have a picnic for dinner since one of his friends had mentioned their parents did it one night.

There was a knock on his door and he looked up, seeing Sam Winchester taking up the space. “Do you have a minute?”

“Of course.” Castiel attempted to tidy his papers and gestured to a chair. “But it is a Tuesday, and you aren’t scheduled to come in…” He turned to look at his calendar. “For another week.”

“I had to drop off some paperwork for one of the guys.” He sat in his chair, looking wholly uncomfortable as he wiped his palms on his pants. “And I wanted to talk with you since you’re not great with texts.”

“If you would just call me.”

Sam rolled his eyes as he leaned forward. “Bobby and Ellen are doing a fourth of July thing this weekend since it falls on a Wednesday. We have a bunch of people there, and I thought you and Jack could come.”

Castiel thought back to Dean saying that family isn’t blood, but still he replied: “I wouldn’t want to intrude but thank you for the invitation.”

“We don’t do fireworks. Ellen has banned them since Dean nearly set the shed on fire. And Jody will be there with her kids.” He could tell that he thought this would be the biggest selling point. Sam was very close with Jody, even though their ages weren’t that far apart he knew Jody thought of him as her son. When Castiel didn’t appear to change his stance, Sam sighed and his shoulders loosened as though he was defeated. “Listen I may be overstepping, but I think Dean would be happy to see you.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah, after you made him that pie, he’s mentioned you about three times, which for Dean is a lot.”

Castiel clenched his hand tightly around the pen. He was tired of people trying to set him up. It’d largely stopped once he spoke with Jody, but his brother—Gabriel—was on his case about it. Now, Sam was doing it too. “I’m not really looking for anyone right now.”

Sam nodded and leaned back in his chair. “Listen, it doesn’t have to be _dating_ , but I think you would do Dean some good. He’s had a rough time lately and he won’t talk to me or Bobby like he normally does.”

The biggest puzzle to Castiel was if Dean had said something about him. Dean was attractive, but he hadn’t thought he’d given any inclination as to his sexual preferences. “Even though I provide counseling in my professional life, it does not carry over into my personal life.”

“I know, but your…” Sam gestured at him. “I just know my brother. I think the two of you would get along….” He rubbed the back of his neck as he met Castiel’s firm gaze. “I don’t want to tell you anything that he wouldn’t be comfortable with, but he could use a friend. And quite frankly Cas you need to socialize more with people that are over the age of ten.” Sam held a hand up when Castiel opened his mouth. “That aren’t your siblings or Jody. Besides all you talk about with Jody is your kids.”

Castiel did not respond. He put down his pen and went to his email. Sam sighed and got up to walk out. At the last minute he called out: “I will accept your invitation. Please tell Ellen that I will be making a pie.”

Even with the distraction Castiel still finished early. He had called Gabriel while he was submitting the final paperwork and it was just in time. It was amazing he had finished so early, he mused while he was driving. The conversation with Sam unnerved him a bit. Usually setting someone up would be light and casual, but it was like he was sincerely asking for help. He was used to helping people work through their issues, it had even become his full-time job. And Dean? Castiel was certainly intrigued by him. Yes, he was certainly handsome. Broad shouldered from the physical labor he did each day and green eyes that reminded him of spring.

“Daddy!” he heard.

Castiel hadn’t realized he had driven on almost auto-pilot to the Y. He got out and gave his son a hug. “I finished early; I hope you’re not too disappointed not to see your Uncle Gabe.”

“No, you’re way better.”

Castiel watched to make sure he was safely buckled in in the back and sat up a bit straighter in his seat to look in the mirror. “I thought we would have that picnic by the lake today since I got done so early.”

Jack’s face lit up as he asked all sorts of questions. Everything else seemed to fade away as Castiel talked to him. For the both of them words didn’t necessarily come easy. Honestly Jack’s preschool teacher was worried until he got closer to Claire and became more emboldened. He was so slow to trust, but once he did, he seemed to blossom. Perhaps Castiel was the same way. He just knew that there was nothing he had to worry about with Jack.

The two of them sat on a blanket not far from the shore as they ate the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that Jack insisted on making. By now they were silent as they ate. Castiel finished his and wiped off his hands. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

He turned and looked at Castiel, eyebrows furrowing.

“Nothing bad. I just want to know how you would feel if I started seeing someone.”

“Like Mrs. Mills?” he questioned. “Friends are good.”

“No, like if I had a… special friend. Like Uncle Gabriel and Kali.”

Jack just shrugged. “If they were nice and liked me it wouldn’t matter.”

Castiel throat tightened. “Of course, they would be. I would never let anyone into my life that wasn’t nice to you.” He opened his arm and Jack gave him a hug. When they pulled away, he decided the topic wasn’t finished. “What would you think if daddy’s special friend was a boy?”

Jack just shrugged again. “I haven’t met anyone with two daddies before, but I guess it would be alright.”

He bit his lip not quite knowing what to say so he pulled him in for another hug again. How had he not thought that this sort of thing would fall on him to teach? While his elementary school was the best for a child of Jack’s ability, it was by no means progressive. This was a discussion he should bring up with Jack’s teacher. In the meantime, there had to be books he could get for him.

“Let’s go skip some rocks,” Castiel said, trying to shift the mood. Still, he couldn’t push the thought out of his mind of Jack being worried that whoever he brought into their life wouldn’t be nice. For a brief moment Castiel was glad that his brother was not here. It was wrong to think so badly of the dead, but honestly it was better for Jack not to be raised by Luke. And nothing would stand in the way of Castiel making sure that Jack was safe.

* * *

Jack was unusually hyper the day of the barbeque. Usually, he didn’t get like this unless he was around other kids, but he supposed it was the excitement of the day. Barbeques were a bit casual for the Novak family. While his father was laid back about everything, his mother was higher strung. A habit that Michael unfortunately picked up on, and now—as a married man—he took it upon himself to hold the get togethers which were usually dinner parties.

“I know that Claire and Alex will be there, but Sam didn’t say anything about other children,” Castiel told his son as he packed up the car. He noticed his son eyeing the two pies he put on the seat beside him. “You need to eat lunch before any pie, okay?”

“Yes,” Jack said. Castiel was sure he saw an eye roll and he knew that was a habit that he picked up from Claire.

He was glad that Anna installed a mount for his phone, even though he said he wouldn’t use it. Bobby’s was on the other side of town. He supposed it made sense, if he remembered right Sam said he owned his own mechanic shop that was on the property. The shop was what he saw first but he turned a little further down the road and large house came into view. There were quite a few cars out front. Castiel took a deep breath, never that great with large groups of people.

“It looks like there are a lot of people. Let me know if you ever feel overwhelmed, okay Jack?” He turned in his seat and saw his son scrambling to get out of the booster. He knew that the words for more for him than anyone else.

The two walked to the backyard like instructed and he was surprised at how much room there and just how many people fit into the backyard. He blinked a few times before he saw Sam talking to an older woman. “Cas!” he saw him wave with a goofy grin on his face. “Castiel, Jack, this is Ellen. She’s practically my second mom.”

“Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

“It’s Ellen, for the both of you.” She gave Jack a wink. “Dean brought your pie to Sunday dinner. I am going to have to get your recipe.”

“Neither are apple this time. One’s peach and one’s blueberry.”

“We picked them ourselves,” Jack added.

“Yes, one of those pick the fruit yourself orchards.” He extended them toward Ellen who just gave him a wide grin.

“They are appreciated. Make yourself at home.” She looked at Jack again. “Charlie is going to start some games with the kids if you want to join.”

“Can I?”

Castiel saw the women who had fixed his computer carrying a box with children following her. “Go right ahead.” He watched as he ran away and surveyed the yard. “What now?” he asked Sam. The taller man clapped him on the back and led him over to a table where he at least recognized Eileen.

“You know Eileen, and that’s Jo, Ellen’s daughter. Just hang out. We’re going to eat in about a half an hour.”

He slid onto the bench across from the women as Sam greeted someone else that had come into the yard. Eileen greeted him warmly, but Jo just surveyed him as she drank a beer. “Where’d you meet Sam?”

“He volunteers at the resource center where I work.”

“Are you like an accountant or something?” She narrowed her eyes as she looked him over. Most everyone was in shorts and t-shirts. He had worn a pair of khaki’s and a short sleeve button down not knowing how informal it would be.

“Peer support specialist…” He realized that he would have to do better as most did not know what that meant. “I help out veterans that are coming home, get them adjusted to civilian life again.”

“Huh, no offense Eileen but Sam’s work friends are usually dorks.” She elbowed the woman as she leaned forward. “What branch?”

“Army.”

“I won’t hold it against you. My dad was a marine, Sam’s dad was too. It’s how we know each other.” She took a drink of her beer as she leaned back and studied him. “I guess I should have had you pegged as an army guy. All serious and stuff.”

Before Castiel got a chance to respond two other people walked up to the couple. A blonde, broad-shoulder man and small woman next to him. “Darling, I didn’t know you would be here.”

“Now that school’s out for summer I’ve been crashing here when, I get off a few days from work,” Jo responded with a wide grin.

“Well, I am glad to see you.” The man waited for Jo to get up before wrapping her in a hug. “Eileen, where’s Sammy?”

“Keeping the peace between Bobby and Dean…” She pointed to the grill. “I’ll get us some beers and tell him you came.”

“I haven’t seen you around before. I’m Benny. And this is my wife, Andrea.” He held out a hand to shake.

“Castiel.” He shook both of their hands in turn. “My son Jack is currently being occupied by Charlie or I would introduce him as well.” He paused only because Eileen came back with a beer for everyone. When she held one out to him, he shook his head. Jo said nothing, but quickly pulled it towards herself with a cheeky smile.

“Wait, you’re the guy whose roof Dean made me help out with fixing,” Benny said with a laugh. “Don’t worry, brother. I’m just joking. I own a food truck now, but I help Dean out with his business if the job is more than one man can handle.”

“Well it was much appreciated; you do good work.” Castiel looked at the beer on the table. The frosted glass looked so appetizing. He rubbed his hands on his pants and looked back at Benny. “What sort of food truck do you run?”

“Cajun and Creole, Andrea and I are from Louisiana and were mighty disappointed at the food selection nearby.” He slung an arm over his wife’s shoulder.

“I don’t know if I have tried that.”

“We brought some dishes over from the cart, let us know what you think.” Andrea turned her head when there were squeals of excitement from the children. “Which one is yours?”

“Blue shirt,” Castiel said as he saw his son across the yard catch a ball thrown by Charlie. “Charlie certainly has a way with them. He’s never like that unless his friend, Claire is around.” He shook his head a bit to tear his attention away and focus on the adult conversation. “Sorry, just caught in my thoughts.”

“Understandable, I can’t wait to have a little one myself.” Andrea smiled brightly even though Jo snorted at that.

“Sorry, it’s just lately I swear every conversation has been about babies or weddings.” She fixed Eileen a pointed look before getting up. “I’m going to see how long before foods out.”

“So, is it just you?” Andrea asked. Her smile was genuine and curiosity polite. It still made him stiffen a bit. Eileen gave him a sympathetic look, mainly because he’d had the conversation with her before.

“Yes, it is _just_ me.” He knew the sarcasm dripping from the word was uncalled for. She seemed like a sweet woman, but that hit a nerve.

“I couldn’t imagine doing it without Benny. It must be hard not having his mom around.”

“Love, I think…” Benny started to rub her shoulder as he saw the look on Castiel’s face.

“I need some water, please excuse me.” He walked up to the first cooler he saw and opened it. It was full of ice and beer. He stared at it probably way too long, fingers itching to grab one. Then he slammed it with probably too much force.

“We out of beer?”

Castiel looked up and saw Dean. He looked just as attractive as the two times he had seen him at his house, but looked more casual in a pair of worn jeans with a black t-shirt. “Is there anything non-alcoholic?”

“Soda cooler is over by the kids.” He gestured across the yard where Charlie now had them all playing with foam swords. “Water is in the house if you want to follow me.”

“Yes.” Castiel followed him as he walked into the dark house, it took a minute for his eyes to adjust as Dean led him to the kitchen where he pulled out a bottle of water. “Thanks. Do you think Ellen will mind if I take a few moments?”

“Not at all.” Dean doesn’t leave, instead he grabbed a bottle of water for himself leaning against the counter. “How long has it been?”

“What do you mean?”

“Not trying to pry, it’s just you seemed pretty pissed at the beer.”

Castiel felt a knot grow in his stomach. It wasn’t something that he talked about all that much outside of his therapist and the people that were in his group therapy meetings. “Five years and one month,” he responded. The date was easy enough to remember. The last drink he ever had was the whiskey the day Jack was born. “Most people can’t tell. Are you—”

“My dad, he…” Dean shrugged, looked almost ashamed as he glanced at the ground before opening his water bottle.

“The only time I miss it is when I’m at something like this. A lot of people, especially people I’m not familiar with.”

“Yeah, it can be a lot. I saw you talking with Andrea. She’s real nice, but gets friendly pretty quick. Probably started a lot of questions about Jack?”

Castiel nodded.

“Her and Benny want to have a kid soon.” Dean looked out the window. “It looks like Jody showed up. You said you know her?”

“Her daughter Claire was in the same preschool class as my son.”

“Her and Bobby go way back. I don’t see her as much anymore. She has her hands full since she adopted the girls.” Dean pushed off the counter. “I think food is on.”

Castiel slowly followed him out, but Dean charged ahead to where his brother stood. He watched them interact playfully before he waved to Jack so he could help him plate up. As he stood around the table gathering food, he saw Jody come up behind him.

“Dean Winchester?” she whispered with a smile on her face. When he whipped around to scowl at her she held her hands up in surrender. “I promise to stay out of it, but I approve.”

Castiel wanted to say something more, but Jack pulled on his arm to ask a question. Though he had recoiled at Sam’s suggestion at first, maybe Dean wouldn’t be that bad.

* * *

Even after speaking to Dean at the barbeque, Castiel cannot imagine calling Dean Winchester out of the blue. Even worse is the thought of texting. Besides, what would he even say to the man? He’s seems perfectly nice, but he’s not sure if he’s willing to risk everything by going all in yet. Do people ordinarily call almost perfect strangers to ask to hang out as friends?

All of his careful plans fade away one afternoon when he’s gardening with Jack. He had planned on teaching him all about the wonders of bees as they weeded and pruned their patch of native plants. Midway through teaching he’s distracted by the paint on his house that’s starting to look shabby. That’s when he remembers the card Dean gave him. The man had said that he paints houses all the time.

“What do you think about getting the house painted?” Castiel asked Jack, when he finished their discussion on pollination.

“Does it have to be white again?” Jack questioned.

“No, when we go grocery shopping, we can stop by the hardware store to get some paint samples. You can help me choose.”

So, they do. They pick an attractive sage green that compliments the cedar shingles well, and Castiel calls Dean. The man seems surprised that he called him again, but agrees to do it. Again, the price is deceptively low. He starts work on a Monday and unfortunately, he misses him that day and the next few days. The final day he’s working he arranges his schedule so he can pick up Jack and get there when Dean is still there.

After Jack goes inside, he walks around the house and finds Deans in coveralls, splattered with small amounts of paint. “Just finishing touches, I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

“No rush,” Castiel said, trying to force his voice to sound casual and breezy. “I actually wanted to know if you would want to stay for dinner.”

A smile crosses Dean’s face as he gets off the step ladder and puts his hands on his hips. “Is there going to be pie?”

“No, but I made shortcake a couple days ago.”

“Well I never say no to a home cooked meal. I was going to grab takeout and your food is probably better.”

“Unfortunately, my skills in the kitchen are better suited to baking, but Jack finds my food passable.”

“Still a yes. I’m almost done.”

“Just come inside when you’re finished.” Castiel walked away feeling like a weight lifted from his shoulder. Jack looked at him curiously, but he distracted the boy by asking him to help. He decided that dinner with him and Jack would be the best way to get to know Dean. While he wanted to see if they could be more than friends, he wasn’t quite sure how he really was with Jack.

Dinner is an uncomplicated pasta dish with zucchini, tomatoes, onions, parmesan cheese and a squirt of lemon. This he pairs with a crusty loaf of French bread that he picked up on his lunch break. The table is set and the food is out by the time Dean comes in. He took his coveralls off, but there are still splatters of paint that probably will only come off after a nice hot shower.

“Perfect timing. Is water okay to drink?”

“Please. Need any help.”

“You’re a guest,” Jack said as he came out of the kitchen to stare at the man. “Dean, right?”

“Yeah, and it was Jack.” Dean held out his hand and shook it again. “Mighty nice to invite me for dinner.”

“It was daddy’s idea.” 

They all sit down at the table and take terms dishing up the pasta. Castiel and Jack eat in amicable silence while Dean looks between the two of them curiously. “I’m sorry, maybe you can do silent dinners, but can we talk about something? This is killing me.”

“About what?” Jack questioned.

“Anything. What grade are you in kid?”

“I’m going to be in first grade in September.”

“Wow,” Dean let out a low whistle. “What’s your favorite thing to learn?”

“Reading. I can’t read good—”

“Well,” Castiel corrected.

“Well yet, but daddy reads me these exciting books with magic and adventures.” A wide smile crossed his face. “Do you like the Hobbit?”

“Is that a question?” Dean rolled his eyes. “Of course, Charlie’s my friend after all. I think you met her at the barbeque, bright red hair.”

Jack nodded quickly. “I liked her. She had foam swords and told us she was the Queen of the Moons and we were training to be knights.”

Dean let out a laugh. “I guess Charlie is starting the kids early with the LARPing.”

“What is LARPing?” Castiel questioned.

“Live action role play. It’s like acting out the Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones. She made Sam and I play once, but you’d have to ask her any questions.” Dean continued to shovel the pasta in his mouth. “This is good. I don’t even like eating vegetables usually.” He paused and turned to Jack. “Forget I said that. Vegetables are great. They’re so good, it’s all rabbits eat.”

Castiel has to stifle a laugh. “Thank you. And you don’t have to worry about Jack and vegetables.”

“Corn is my favorite food,” he said to Dean.

“Have you had burgers, kid?” he questioned. “Like a cheeseburger fresh off the grill with bacon? That is my favorite food.”

“We should try that sometime Daddy.”

“You can. I don’t think my cholesterol levels could handle it.” Castiel took the final bite on his plate, then met Dean’s eyes. “However, one time one hurt me.” He got to his feet and looked at the table. “If you are done, I will take your plates.”

“Let me help grab the dessert.”

Dean followed Castiel out of the kitchen. He watched as he carefully placed them in the empty sink before the man pointed to the cabinet with the bowls and the drawer that held spoons. Castiel grabbed the shortcake, strawberries, and whipped cream before he went back to the kitchen. “Construct your own, but please make the whipped cream proportional Jack.”

“Proportional?” he questioned.

“Don’t bury it in whipped cream, have roughly the same as the berries and the cake,” Dean said, but then he leaned in close. “The whipped cream is my favorite part too, but I bet your daddy made the shortcake really good.”

Castiel watched in amazement as Jack smiled at Dean and built his own dessert. Dean was quick to come up with all sorts of stories to tell the two of them. They were silly stories about his time growing up with his younger brother. Listening he realized that Jack was not an excuse for him. Granted he didn’t know Dean very well, but at the bare minimum he seemed to not hate children. In fact, he was much better with him than his own brother Michael. All that meant to him was that the decision was his.

After dinner was finished, Castiel had to argue with Dean that he didn’t need to help with dishes. Still he stayed leaning against the kitchen as Castiel loaded up the dishwasher and Jack went outside to play on the swing set. When Dean looked down at his watch for the time, Castiel opened a drawer to pull out his check book. He wrote it hastily, adding a little extra to the low price that Dean had told him. “No arguments.”

“I liked the pie better,” he replied as he followed the check and slid it in his pocket. “Thanks again for dinner, I should really be heading out.”

“Let me walk you out.” Castiel followed Dean outside to work truck. He considered what he wanted to say but instead settled on: “You did a good job with the painting.”

“Yeah. Good call on the paint, but being this close to the water will probably beat it up again.” Dean walked around to the back of his truck and secured things like the ladder and his tool box before slamming the tail gate shut. He stared at Castiel for a few moments and Castiel realized he was just staring at him.

“I had a nice time tonight. However, I was wondering if you would like to do it again accept alone and perhaps not at my house.” Castiel rubbed the back of his neck and looked up from where he was staring at his feet to see Dean. The man’s face had a smirk across it as one armed leaned on his truck.

“Yeah, like…”

“It doesn’t have to be a date, but friends…” He gestured in the air for a bit. “Hanging out? You know I don’t drink, but being at a bar doesn’t bother me. We could watch sports or—”

“I already said yes, Cas. And the perk of being your own boss is I make my schedule, so let me know when you’re free.”

Castiel watched as Dean climbed in his truck and drove away. He stood there for a few seconds before Jack called him over into the backyard, tearing him out of his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the barbeque, Castiel and Dean briefly talk about alcholism.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to upload on Saturday, but I hope you like this chapter.

It’s Dean that ended up contacting Castiel. He received the text message during staff meeting. Typically, the only person that would text him during the day would be one of his siblings contacting him about Jack. His coworkers knew this and don’t bat an eye when he briefly opened the phone he kept flat on the table.

 **Dean:** _Charlie is doing a game night on Friday. Want in?_

He didn't respond. Instead, he flipped his phone over and attempted to concentrate on the monthly goals that are being laid out for them. He didn't look at his phone until after lunch when he received a text from his brother.

**Gabriel:** _Arts and crafts day!_

Honestly, he swore his brother used Jack as an excuse to do all sorts of things that may be considered too childish for a man in his thirties. The photo came next: Jack with his hands covered in some thick purple sparkly substance. Castiel groaned at that, but knew better than to complain because Gabriel will try to give him a gallon sized bag full of the stuff. _It can be calming, give some to your clients._

“What’s so funny Clarence?”

Castiel looked up to see Meg in the doorway. The two of them are not as awkward anymore and Meg has obviously come to speak about work, indicated by the file folder in her hand. “Just a little horrified.” He held out his phone to show the picture of Jack.

“I didn’t realize he was so old now.” She took a seat in the chair across from him and set down the folder to lay it open. “New client that I think would do well with you.”

“And why is that?” Castiel received his client assignments already and as far as he knew there were no new clients that had come in.

“Anger issues, drinking problem, and arrogant.” She rolled her eyes. “We’ve had trouble finding him a good match.”

“Why must you give me all the difficult cases?” He turned the file to face him and skimmed it over. “He’s not even violent.”

“No but very good with threats. Come on, Clarence. A guy like this needs someone like you. You don’t let anyone get underneath your skin and quite frankly he could use some of your tough love.”

“Excuse me?”

“Come on. That whole dad vibe you have going on works great for some of the clients. A lot of them have some major unresolved father issues.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and looks her over. “Just because I am a father doesn’t mean I give off ‘dad vibes’.” 

“You do. That whole speech that you give your clients about how you’ll be there for them even when they slip up. The disappointed look you give, but you always tell them it’s alright. Honestly you should hold a workshop on it.” She gave him a smirk. “You think you can work him in.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not unless it’s a scheduling impossibility.” She got up and walked out without saying anything else.

Two hours later he showed up at Gabriel’s apartment to pick up Jack. He groaned when he saw the state that it was in. “I don’t know if I should trust you to watch him,” he said when he was just inside the door.

“I give you free babysitting. You should be grateful.”

He looked around. It’s mainly clutter: stacks of books, shoes, a pile of unfolded clean laundry. “You all promised to help me.”

“And I will as long as you don’t complain about my apartment. Jack! Your dad’s here! Hide the cigarette’s and dirty magazines!”

“That is not funny.”

“I don’t think you know what a joke is.”

Castiel sighed and rubbed his temples. He remembered the text from earlier today. “Yes, you have made it perfectly clear I need to work on my humor.” Castiel ran a hand though his hair.

“You need something, don’t you? You have a pensive look.”

“Could you watch Jack for me on Friday night?” The words just came out. “Not all night and not too late, I think we’re playing board games.”

“That’s what the kids call it these days, oh Cassie…” He tossed an arm around Castiel’s shoulder. “I don’t work at the bakery on Saturdays so he can stay late or spend the night if you need.” He gave a wink.

“I don’t think it will be that late.”

“Well, my only price is to be the first to learn of any relationship developments. And you’re lucky for that. If I was Michael there was no way I would do a favor for you after you insulted me.”

“Thank you.” Castiel smiled when he saw Jack running up to him. “Say goodbye to Uncle Gabriel, you’ll see him Friday.”

After Jack is tucked into bed for the night, Castiel responded to Dean’s text message. He ignores the excitement he felt when Dean immediately responded: _Awesome._

* * *

Come Friday, Castiel left work late. Partly because Jack is with Gabriel for the night and he had no motivation to get off early; and partly because it is his first with his new client. Fergus Crowley. An army veteran that spoke with a slight accent that he said came from his Scottish mother.

When he first meets with clients, they typically speak about goals. He gets to know if they have specific goals or rather just things they need help working on. Fergus is a bit different. He found a job that he seems to be particularly good at, a salesman of some sort. Castiel frequently works with veterans that have just come home, ones that have trouble adjusting. By the end of the session, Castiel nearly had a headache just from listening to him speak and sheer volume of information that he had given him.

Dean texted him the address of Charlie’s apartment and told him not to worry about bringing anything. It felt wrong going empty handed so he made cookies. Even before Dean he baked. Emotions were difficult, but baking was simple mix of science and math. Why should he think of words when he could bring them something that spoke volumes? He made Anna lemon meringue pie whenever she had something to celebrate; Michael was a frequent recipient of his oatmeal raisin cookies when he complained about a difficult work week. For Gabriel he would bring a chocolate cake as a token of appreciation. Now he was showing up with a plate full of snickerdoodles because Jack had requested them for home and making a double batch was the easiest thing to do.

The apartment building wasn’t really an apartment building, but rather a complex with about ten apartments facing a breezeway. He climbed the stairs to apartment number five and only had to knock once before the door was swung open. Charlie stood there with a wide smile.

“Cas!”

“I brought cookies. Dean told me not to bring anything, but—”

“You’re adorable.” Charlie wrapped him in a hug after he got through a door, carefully avoiding what he carried. “Cookies are always welcome in my house. I’m glad you didn’t listen to Dean, total lack of manners sometime.”

“Hey! I brought you pizza.” Dean came in from the kitchen, beer in hand.

“Ignore him we’re all at the kitchen table.” She led him to the other end of the living room where there was a large table. “My girlfriend, Gilda…” She pointed to a petite brunette woman. “And my roommate Ash.” She pointed to a man with an unusual hairstyle.

“I like him. Dean should take notes.” Gilda got to her feet and took the plate of cookies from him and set it on the table. “Now how do you know Dean?”

“He’s one of Sammy’s friends.” Dean set a pizza down on the table. “Now I do believe that someone promised me poker.”

“No!” Gilda said. “That is so not fair to Castiel and I.” She leaned closer to Castiel. “Dean is a total scam artist when it comes to poker and those two…” She pointed to Charlie and Ash. “Are math geniuses.”

“That’s a bit of an understatement, but I’ll take it,” Ash said, then leaned close to Castiel. “Charlie is a computer genius, can hack anything. I, on the other hand, like to dabble. Statistics, physics…”

“Gilda I’m afraid that you are on your own here. I have played quite a bit of poker. While Charlie and Ash may be a challenge, Dean will pose no problem to me.”

“You play poker?” Dean questioned.

“A skill you pick up on an Army base,” he said. “I became quite good even if my men said that they let me win.”

“Men?” Dean asked.

“I was a Captain.” Castiel felt the eyes on him as he got to his feet. “While poker does sound fun, I’m sure that there are games that would be more enjoyable.”

Charlie did have an impressive collection of board games. Gilda seemed happy at this decision. Dean on the other hand rolled his eyes as Charlie selected some strategy game. Before long they settled down at the table. The pizza is greasier than he would normally go for and his cookies are enjoyed thoroughly. More importantly he forgot for a few moments about his awful afternoon and that he has to do laundry tomorrow and that he promised Jody the girls could spend Saturday night when Jody covers a graveyard shift.

After they wrapped up the game, they sat around the living room just talking. Well Charlie did most of the talking. Gilda kept Ash from going to sleep on the kitchen table (no one else seemed to think that was strange). When Charlie proposed turning on a movie, Castiel glanced down at his watch. “I have to get to my brother’s place.” He looked at Dean who at this point was nursing a glass of whiskey while sitting on the couch, offering no input on Gilda’s movie selection. He walked over, placing a hand on his arm. “Want a ride home?”

“He can stay here,” Charlie said softly.

“Are you sure? My house is fairly far out—”

“Cas I am fine. This is my last drink anyway and I’m used to sleeping on Charlie’s couch.”

Castiel hesitated, but Charlie grabbed his plate after storing the cookies in a container. When he drove to Gabriel’s place, his usually boisterous brother had told him to be quiet. On the couch Jack had fallen asleep, a fleece Scooby Doo blanket tossed over him. “I… I always put him to bed.”

“Hey, don’t stress little bro. It’s one night and you’re taking him home now.”

“Yeah…”

“You playing ‘board games’…” He quirked his fingers into quotations marks. “One night with your friends does not a bad father make. You’re better than Lucifer ever would have been…”

“Gabriel…” He gestured to his son.

“I get it. Wrong place for the convo. I’ll grab his bag. You grab your son. He’s getting heavy, would totally throw out my back…”

Castiel does just that. Typically, Jack is a light sleeper. Sleeping was a fight when he was younger. If he was his biological son he would question if insomnia was genetic. However tonight he is out cold. Summer camp combined with a movie marathon and a crash from whatever sugar Gabriel gave him seemed to be the perfect sleeping aid. By the time he gets home, Jack has woken up enough to brush his teeth and put on his pajamas. Castiel tucked him into bed and went to leave.

“Daddy you always read to me.”

“It’s pretty late, aren’t you tired?”

“Not that tired.”

He sat down on the bed beside Jack where he had made room and picked up the book they read together the past few nights. He started with the Hobbit and was on the next book in the series. Jack only made it a few pages before he dozed off.

He was envious that he can fall asleep for bed that easily. His routine is slow and calculated: he tidied up the house—specifically his bedroom and the downstairs; then he took a long shower; brushed his teeth; steeped a cup of chamomile tea thick with honey; and selected a biography off of his bookshelf. The book was his company in the low light of his bedroom as he drained the cup of tea. He tucked the book into his nightstand drawer before he washed out the honey residue in his cup, then filled it with water. 

Once in bed, the sheets felt cool against his skin despite the fact the temperature has not yet dropped tonight. His bed was large, the only person that has ever been in it was Jack during a particularly nasty storm that cut out the power. Sleep did not come so he is left with his thoughts. He thought of Meg. Witty and bold and affectionate. His only real relationship since he came home, since Jack was born. Even with her sex was at her place and he never stayed the night. 

He reached out to the other side of the bed and briefly wondered how different his insomniac spells would be with someone beside him. If they would be different at all. In that moment he knew if he was truly ready to find someone, he would have to share his life. While it sounded terrifying, he knew that’s what he thought five years ago when Jack was placed in his arms.

* * *

Having saw Dean the day prior, it was not Castiel’s intention to call him again. Jody did not work until midnight, but she dropped the girls off at three so she could nap before then. He was in the middle of cooking dinner when the children began to wear his patience thin.

“Outside,” he said when they began fighting over a board game.

“Can we play baseball?” Claire questioned.

“Be careful, don’t play too close to the house but stay in sight of the kitchen windows,” he said and then looked to Alex. “Please keep an eye on them.”

“Don’t worry Mr. Novak,” Alex replied.

The silence was short lived. Castiel was in the middle of scraping grated and chopped vegetables into a pot when he heard it. Shattering glass that spilled over the dining room. Anyone else may have jumped, but connected the fact that their children were playing catch. The cutting board and knife dropped into the spaghetti sauce, the warm red liquid splashing him. He dived to the ground. For a split second he was no longer in his kitchen in Washington, but somewhere far way. He looked down and saw the red on his hands. His heart beat faster as he tried to fight his memories from bubbling to the surface. _“Shh…I’ve got you Baz, the medics will be here soon...” Red stained the fabric Balthazar's shoulders, and Castiel's hands as he ducked down, pressing his body against the other man's._

It was then he heard: “Mr. Novak I’m sorry!” and “It was my fault!” and “Daddy.” Like a reflex he shouted: “Get down! Away from the window!” That was before his eyes landed on Jack. Suddenly he realized where he was and tried to regulate his breathing. After a few stable breaths, he then repeated quietly for himself: “I feel stressed because I am remembering when Balthazar was injured. But that is not what is happening. I am home. I am not in danger.”

“Dad?” Jack moved closer; the girls were frozen in the living room next to each other.

“Daddy got scared, just… wait in the living room. I’ll be there soon…” Castiel got to his feet as he shook out his hands and walked in place. He rinsed his hands off before splashing his face with cold water. When he still felt on edge, he took a minute to breath in the smell of garlic and onions and herbs in the sauce.

He had no idea how long it had actually been when he went to the living room. Alex comforted her sister as Jack sat in the arm chair looking on with worried eyes. He pulled the coffee table closer so he could sit on the edge as he talked to the girls.

“Don’t worry Claire, I’m not mad at you.”

“It was my fault,” Alex said quickly. “I was the one throwing and it was too hard and…”

“Hey, it’s no one’s fault. It was an accident and I could have done the same thing if I was out there with all of you.”

“But you seemed so mad,” Claire said.

“Maybe I’m a little sad that the windows broken, but it can easily be fixed and…” He took a deep breath. “Remember how on career day I said I helped other people who were soldiers?”

He waited for a nod.

“Well, when I was a solider, I had some really scary stuff happen to me. When I think about it or something makes me remember it, I can get mad or scared. You know how your mom took Jack to see fireworks with you? Well, fireworks are one of those things I don’t like. The sound of the window breaking makes me feel the same way.”

“I’m really sorry Mr. Novak…”

“I will accept your apology for the accident, but you need to know that you’re not responsible for how I reacted. I’m sorry if I scared you.” The girls seemed to relax a bit. “Do you want me to call your mom?”

“No.”

“Can I give you a hug?” He waited until they said yes and he gave them all a hug at once, holding his arm out for Jack. “Why don’t you all watch a movie while I clean up and finish dinner? It will be a little late so you guys can have dessert first.”

Once they were settled on the couch with Snickerdoodles he went back into the kitchen. He texted Jody to let her know what happened.

 **Jody:** _Need me to swing by? Not a problem._

 **Castiel:** _Fine now. I’ll let you know if anything changes. Jack knows to call you too._

 **Jody:** _Okay, but you better check in with me again or I’ll send Gabriel over._

He smiled that response. Surprisingly Gabriel was the best at grounding him if anything ever happened. The two of them were the closest out of any of his siblings. He was so familiar and distinctly home in his mind that he was able to bring him back from even the worst episodes. As he scrubbed up the sauce and saw that though the knife and cutting board fell in, it was fine. He looked to the side of the cabinet and saw Dean’s card. After the glass was cleaned up, he reached for his phone, and clicked on Dean's name. 

“Cas? I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon.”

“I have a favor to ask.”

“I dunno. I don’t normally work weekends.” There was teasing in his voice, even Castiel could recognize that.

“One of my windows was broken and I have no idea what to do. I don’t have plywood and—”

“I can be right over,” Dean said.

Castiel had to let the sauce simmer and had nothing to do but wait. He went to the couch and was met with Jack. His son grabbed his arm and held it tightly as Alex and Claire scooted closer to him. On screen was the classic Mary Poppins. The movie he’d seen countless times as Jack loved it, the music was familiar enough to ground him.

It took a little less than an hour before Dean showed up, toolbox in hand. He briefly wondered what he'd been doing on his day off with some black smudges on his jeans and arms, but what looked to be a clean work shirt. He would have smiled if he had the presence of mind to realize Dean had cleaned up to come over. “Did you really break a window to see me again?”

“Why would I do a thing like that?” Castiel shook his head and then gestured for him to follow him in.

“Babysitting again?” Dean said as the children came to follow him to the window, but he didn’t wait for an answer as he began to examine it.

“Are you going to fix the window? It made Mr. Novak upset,” Claire questioned as she watched him with a careful.

“Well sometimes grown-ups don’t think before they say something. But don’t you worry, I’m going to patch this up to make it safe. In a few days it will be good as new.” Dean gave her a wink as he pulled out safety glasses and gloves. “One time I was messing around with my brother and we dented our dad’s car. I’ve never seen him angrier.” He chuckled at the memory.

“It was the first time he yelled at me,” Jack replied softly.

Castiel froze he stepped forward to herd the children away from Dean. Then he could pull Jack aside. He’d had a similar conversation with him before, but it had been a year ago and in even simpler terms.

“Buddy I’m sure—”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Jack explained, “It’s like what happened when he hears fireworks.”

“Why don’t we let Dean work? You three continue watching the movie and I’ll see about dinner. We can eat outside tonight.” He watched as they reluctantly went away. Dean had started getting to work at patching it up. “I apologize for that you didn’t—”

“Parents get stressed out; it happens.” Dean did not take his eyes off the window as he pulled out a tape measure.

“It wasn’t stress. The sound of the ball coming through the window…” He didn’t finish, instead he walked a bit closer and looked at shattered window pane. “Do you need help?”

“Cas, you’re paying me for this.”

“I know. The glass is single pane, I could probably do it if I had the tools.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Would you care to stay for dinner?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Dean teased. “I can’t do more than put up some plywood right now so this shouldn’t take me that long, but don’t wait for me.”

They all loaded up their plates with the spaghetti and went outside to where a picnic table sat. The night was actually not too hot and there was a breeze in the air. Typically, Alex would be able to carry a conversation and Claire could nudge a few words out of Jack, but tonight they were mostly quiet. The talking didn’t start until Dean came out; a plate heaped full with pasta. He sat next to Castiel; the table not very large so their knees bumped together. 

Dean turned out to be a blessing. He asked about baseball, then got Alex talking about doing soccer in the fall. From there the conversation veered as he asked about Mary Poppins and other movies. All of it was light and happy. It brought smiles to the children’s faces until all their plates were cleared.

“I’ll clear them if you want to go play on the swing set.”

The kids have seemed to have either forgotten or been sufficiently distracted by Dean and they race off. Castiel waited until they were out of ear shot and turned towards the other man. “Thank you, for coming to fix my window and helping with the kids.”

“Listen, I’m not one for emotions or chick flick moments, but let me just say that I get it Cas.” Dean sighed and pushed his empty plate away. “My dad was a Marine. My mom she was…” Dean just smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes looked as though they may well with tears any minute. “She got him. Knew exactly what to say or do. She died when I was 4 and then I became the one that had to help my dad.”

“Dean…” Castiel said softly. The words that he repeated every day at work die in his mouth. Because Dean was not the soldier that came home from the war zone. He was the son of someone that did. Someone who never should have put that much weight on a small child’s shoulders. Perhaps this is what Sam referenced.

“I’m not trying to get you to feel sorry for me or something. I’m just saying that I get it Cas. Don’t try to explain to me or feel embarrassed or anything. From my point of view, you’re doing a hell of a better job than my father did.”

Castiel doesn’t know what to say. He can’t find the words to express what’s on his mind.

“I know you don’t know me well, but I can stay for a bit. If it would help you out.”

Castiel waited a few moments, not wanting to ask for help, but at the same time he knew Jody wouldn’t object. She knew Dean. “It would.”

Dean then picked up the plates, not listening to a word of argument from Castiel. Once dinner is picked up, Dean borrowed a book from his bookshelf and watched the kids outside while Castiel took a shower. By the time he came back down they are all on the living room floor playing with some of Jack’s toys. Dean was still reading. He stayed until the kids started to get sleepy and made his way to leave as they went in their separate direction to prepare for bed.

“Thank you,” Castiel said in the doorway.

“Don’t mention it.” Dean turned to walk to his truck and Castiel reached for his arm. “Need something?”

“Do you want to go on a date sometime? Like somewhere not my house, without any kids?”

“Yeah.”

“Good night, Dean.”

“Good night, Cas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of Dean drinking that worries Castiel. 
> 
> Castiel has a PTSD episode. It is in last section that starts with: "Having seen Dean the day prior, it was not Castiel’s intention to call him again." The kids break a window by throwing a baseball, he has a flashback that originally scares the kids. Largely resolved through a talk, but he does call Dean to fix the window.


	5. Chapter 5

It took several days of back-and-forth text messages before they agreed on a plan for their date. Saturday night worked the best as Dean never worked weekends. For Castiel he didn’t have to worry about work the next day and his siblings were typically available. He knew that Jack was a little disappointed because he was going to stay with Anna. Though he thought he and his sister were most similar, to a child she must have been extremely boring. Currently she was finishing up her doctoral degree in some obscure subset of history while teaching undergraduate courses. Her apartment was lined with thick academic books and obscure fiction novels. She didn't have TV in the living room, and her board games were limited to a few trivia games and a chess set. Castiel always had to pack some sort of entertainment for Jack. 

“So, what are your plans? You were surprisingly vague,” Anna said as Castiel stepped inside. “Is it a date?”

“No, why on earth would you think that?”

“Nice clothes, neat hair, cologne, and it’s a Saturday night.” She put her hands on her hips. “Why can’t you tell me? I am your favorite sister.”

“You are my only sister.”

“Still. I know that you tell Gabriel everything and don’t try to deny it. I stopped in the bakery this week and he looked like a cat that caught the canary when I said I was watching Jack.”

“I’m seeing a friend. I believe I told you about Sam Winchester and his fiancé Eileen Leahy.” The lie came easily to him, but he had hung out with Sam a handful of times so it seemed like a better cover than saying he was spending time with Jody. 

Anna narrowed her eyes. “Fine. But if you’re secretly seeing a woman, _I_ want to be the first one to know. I need to make sure that she’s good enough for you and Jack.”

Castiel had to bite back a laugh as he gave his sister a hug goodbye. He and Dean had agreed upon Benny’s food cart because to Dean it was a crime to not have tried his cooking. Anna lived surprisingly close so he waited in his car for some time. Honestly, he couldn’t have been more nervous for a first date. Never mind that this had been the first one in literal years, and it was the first _actual_ date with a man in even longer. The only thing that calmed his nerves was that it was Dean.

“Cas, you going to stay in the car all night?” Dean leaned against his car, head peeking through his open window.

“Didn’t see you.”

“Well come on. Benny and Andrea are both working right now. I told him we were coming so he’s making us something special.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“Don’t tell Benny that.”

There were a few food carts in an empty lot. They were surrounded in a semi-circle around tables, some covered, some in the open. In the center was a fire pit. “This is nice.”

“Grab a table, I’ll let them know we’re here. Want something to drink?”

“Iced tea.”

Dean comes back not only with the drinks, but also a startling amount of food. “Benny said we’d have to share; hope you don’t mind.” There are bunch of small containers, smaller portions of his most popular dishes. Dean pointed them out: hushpuppies, oysters, fried cat fish, red beans and rice, shrimp etouffee.

Castiel ate with vigor. It was grocery shopping day so he and Jack had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. He then thinks at how much Jack would love this, knowing at best he would be having frozen cheese pizza. Anna was vegetarian—which his son would typically have no problem with—but that combined with the fact that microwave popcorn was advanced cooking for her left little option.

“Something on your mind.”

“Jack.”

Dean set down his fork, and placed an elbow on the table as he leaned forward. “When you asked me out you said no kids. I’m going to hold you to that, probably because if I didn’t that would be the only thing you would talk about.”

“Is that so bad?”

“No.” Dean could detect the irritation in Cas’s voice. “But I want to know about you. Don’t people normally talk on these things? Get to know each other.” The tone was flippant, but Castiel could tell this was not something he was familiar with.

“Truth be told I haven’t been on a date in a while. I don’t remember how you’re supposed to act.”

“Well shit, because I don’t usually do this whole dating thing. It’s usually a few beers and then sex.” Dean shrugged as he took a long drink from his glass of water. “I think that’s why Sam set me up with you.”

“I assure that even if I don’t drink, I have put out on the first date before.” Castiel doesn’t know where the boldness came from, but it’s worth it to see Dean nearly spit out his water.

“Sam doesn’t think too much about my sex life. I just mean that you don’t seem like the kind of guy for one and done. I actually was pretty mad at that bitch for trying to get me to date you at first.”

“Then why did you end up here?”

“Because the girls that Sam has set me up with before have all been the same. Busy and caught up in their own lives, looking for something casual. Ever since Sam proposed to Eileen it’s like he expects me to settle down too.”

“You have Sam. I have Jody and three nosy siblings. Well two nosy siblings and one that’s indifferent that can’t stand the idea of me raising Jack without a mother.” Castiel looked down realizing the words that came out of his mouth. If it bothered Dean, he wouldn’t know. They take a few minutes to eat in silence, other than Castiel commenting on the food.

“You grow up in North Cove?” Dean said, breaking the awkward silence.

“No, Westport actually. When I got out of the service I decided to move here. My brother Gabriel lived here, and there was a veteran’s resource center. When Jack was born, I stayed because the rent was cheap and Anna had moved close by. How about you?”

“Born and raised in Kansas. We moved around a lot after my mom passed away. Sam and I visited a lot because of Ellen and Bobby. I moved here about ten years ago and Sam eventually followed when he was done with school.”

There was a lot more to the story. Castiel could tell from the evasiveness of his gaze and the body language that show discomfort. “Did you ever go to college?”

“No, I probably wouldn’t have graduated high school if it weren’t for the combined efforts of Sam and Bobby. My dad said I should join the Marines like him, that’d I make a good solider, but I…” He stopped himself. “It wasn’t my thing. Started working at Bobby’s garage during most of the year and did some summer firefighting.”

“How’d you start your own business?”

Dean face dropped slightly. There was a scowl as he drained the glass of water like he wished it was something stronger. “I wanted a change, there was no handyman in North Cove. Besides if business gets slow, Bobby always has work for me to do.” He shrugged, then looked back at Cas with that teasing glint in his eyes. “Now that I have you as a customer, things won’t be slow.”

“I do have a secret to admit.” Castiel reached across the table, wanting to touch Dean’s hands. He liked how they felt under his own, they were worn from all the hard work he did, but they felt comfortable in his own. “I didn’t really need my house painted right away. I just wanted an excuse to see you again after the barbeque.”

“Really?” Dean’s easy smile appeared, more like a smirk as he leaned forward.

“Sam was trying to nudge me in your direction, but I resisted. Well, I did until you spoke with me at the barbeque. You weren’t judgmental and you didn’t feel sorry for me, you were just there. Just like you were their last weekend.”

“Cas, I didn’t really do anything.”

“But you did.” He didn’t know how to convey to Dean how much it really did mean to him. Other than his family, Jody had been the only other person that was truly there for him. But they were there for each other. Dean did it with seemingly no agenda. There didn’t seem to be pity or worry in his actions.

“I already paid Benny for everything. Do you want to go out to a lookout in my car? If you still have time.”

The night was still young, dusk hadn’t even settled yet. Castiel suspected that Dean wanted him to go for a ride to show off his car, his Baby as he had called it. It was a sleek Black Impala that had clearly been restored with a lot of love. “Now this is a car, not that sorry excuse that you drive.”

“It is fuel efficient and has a high safety rating,” Castiel replied as he slid into it. “I had a Lincoln Continental before it and car seats were a nightmare to install.”

“You drove baby Jack around in a Pimpmobile.” Dean put his hand on the back of the seat, fingers brushing against Castiel’s shoulder as he turned his head and put his arm on the seat to reverse the car. “And you still have that car?”

“I can’t bear to part with it. My dad bought it to teach us how to drive and it made my mom so mad to have that piece of junk sitting in the driveway. It was passed down Luke to Michael to Gabriel and then me. Anna refused to drive it so it stayed with me.”

“Luke? You haven’t mentioned him before.”

“He passed away.”

“Shit, I didn’t mean to bring you down.”

Castiel just shook his head as he looked around where Dean was driving. He was heading toward the state park that was nearby. “It’s not easy to talk about. Forget I said anything.”

Dean did. When it seemed like they were going to drive until they ran out of road, Dean pulled into a small pullout on the edge of a cliff. The cold, angry water whipped down below. Without a warning, Dean slid across the bench seat and put an arm around his shoulder. “I like to come out here and think. Sam and I used to come out with a cooler full of beers and just watch the ocean.”

“I never came to the beach much when I was younger. My dad loved it, could spend hours just talking about nature. My mom and siblings and I thought it was just wet and cold.” Castiel let his body relax, leaning into Dean’s warm side. “It was one of the things I missed the most. I guess spending months in a desert can do that to you.” Castiel turned his body and his face was inches from Dean. He’d never been this close to him. He could see the light freckles dusted across his face and make out the different flecks of green in his eyes. “But I have a feeling we’re not just here for the view.”

“Only if you want to.” Dean looked at him closely, as if he was taking the opportunity to study him closely as well. 

Without warning Castiel closed the gap between them, a hand went to the back of Dean’s head. There’s no hair to grab as Dean’s hair is shorter than his ever was, even in the service. Still, he used it to bring him even closer, to press their mouths together. It starts out relatively innocent, closed mouths, but Dean’s tongue pushed forward. Castiel tugged Dean toward him until he’s pressed against the window of the car, one hand of his on Dean’s head, and the other hooked into his belt loop.

Time passed quickly as they struggle in the small space to get contact. Or at least Castiel does as he’s not been with someone in a car since high school. Dean seemed to know the vehicle like the back of his hand. After some time, they pulled apart, Dean breathed heavy as he settled back down. “I thought you didn’t have sex on the first date.”

“You made that assumption. I actually informed you of contrary facts,” Castiel teased. “But it is getting late, I told Anna I would be back before 10.”

“I haven’t had a ten o’clock curfew since—I never had one. Are you sure?” He leaned back into Castiel’s space, pressing a kiss on his jaw and working his way down his neck.

“Not to ruin the mood, but it has been some time since I’ve been with a man.”

“I’ve hit a dry spell too, it’s—”

“The last man I was with was my sophomore year of college.” That fact just fell out even if it wasn’t quite true. There had been others in the military. Balthazar came to mind, but it felt so wrong to admit it out loud even if it didn’t have to be a secret anymore. Castiel carded a hand through his hair as Dean’s face registered confusion. Didn’t seem to understand. “Don’t ask, don’t tell was still in effect when I joined. I never… I like women too, so I never _told_ anyone even after I left.”

“Jesus Christ,” Dean muttered. “That killed my boner.”

“I didn’t mean to.” Castiel leaned forward on the seat, grabbing at Dean’s arm. Though he barely tugged Dean came right back to him as they kissed once more. “We should go back to my car, it’s bit of a drive.”

“Can someone watch Jack overnight sometime?” Dean asked jokingly. “Just wondering…you know for the future.”

“You’d want to go out again?”

“Hell yes.” At that Dean put his keys back in the ignition and pulled out back on the road.

* * *

The first date had gone better than expected. Much better than expected. He could not begin to describe how excited he was to get alone time with Dean again. Yet, here he was sitting in Jody’s office on his lunchbreak.

“Coffee is terrible, but at least it’s free.” Jody set a mug of coffee on her desk along with a few packets of sugar.

“Thank you.” He was busy unpacking a reusable grocery bag. Jody watched carefully as he laid down sandwiches, carrot sticks, and cookies down on the desk. “I hope you don’t mind; I made our food when I packed Jack’s lunch. However, he got apple slices instead of carrots and cheddar instead of pepper jack on the sandwich.”

“Better than the vending machine,” Jody said as she grabbed it. “Things have been crazy with Alex’s soccer and Claire’s baseball. It’s not like they are training for the major leagues.” She unwrapped the sandwich. “But I have a feeling that you didn’t ask to meet me for lunch to listen to me complain about kids.”

“Normally I would be more than happy to lend a sympathetic ear, but you are right.” He dumped the sugar packets in his coffee and stirred it up.

“Are you doing alright? The two of us haven’t gotten a chance to talk. After what happened when the girls spent the night, I thought you’d be upset.” She took a bite of the sandwich, looking him over. To anyone else it would seem innocent, but Jody was good at picking up any minimal body language. “I would be pissed if Jack broke my window. I am paying for it.”  
“Jody you apologized enough already. Besides it was an accident, I should have been watching them more closely.”

“Well, you are still my number one babysitter if you let my kids step foot in your house ever again.” She laughed, but then set the sandwich down as she leaned forward. “I meant to ask you what happened that night. You’ve told me before that you don’t like to be alone when it happens.”

“I wasn’t alone, not really. I told you Dean came to fix the window.”

Jody’s eyebrow shot up as she leaned forward. “And you went on a date with him. I know I promised not to meddle, but Alex tells me pretty much everything.”

“Nothing happened that night. Dean came and I offered him dinner for being so nice to come over on his day off. Then he stayed. He just watched the kids to give me time to wind down and left when they started to get ready for bed.” Castiel looked at Jody’s reaction which was very confusing. Her eyes looked sad, but a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

“Dean’s a real softie when he likes someone.”

“It’s why I asked him out.”

Jody’s eyes widened. “I knew it. I saw it at the barbeque.” She put her hand on her face as her elbow went to the desk. “Given that you let me know about the date that you went on, I take that you aren’t here to give me a play by play.”

“I just want some advice, and I don’t know who to ask.” He pushed away his food as he grabbed the mug. The heat felt good in his hands. “How do you know when it’s right to tell the person you are dating about your past?”

“Cas, I’m not really the best person for this. I don’t exactly lead with the fact that I’m a widow on the first date, but I don’t usually get to the point where I talk about Sean with someone.”

“There’s so much that Dean doesn’t know, but sometimes it just comes out. I’ve told him more in the couple months I’ve known him than I’ve told Michael in a year. Not everything of course, I told him I don’t drink but not why. He knows I was a captain and---” Castiel just let out a sigh. “I mentioned Luke. You know I never talk about him.”

The two sat in silence after that, eating their lunch. Jody knew quite a lot about him even though she only had met Castiel two years ago. She’d only been Sheriff a few weeks the night of the accident. He knew the night had impacted her badly. It was a freak storm: wind that blew trees across the street and rain that had made the road slick. It was only by chance that her deputies went to his apartment and not her.

“You don’t have to tell him everything, not right away. Dean has his own secrets and I’m guessing he’ll have a much harder time than you,” Jody finally said as she gathered the trash off her desk.

“Enough about me.” Castiel followed her actions, sweeping the crumbs off the desk in his cupped hand. “Any new exciting revelations?”

“Not unless you want to hear about the personal lives of the North Cove PD and how they are way too entwined with their professional lives.” She rolled her eyes. “Or you want to hear about the exciting results of children’s sports?”

“Nothing new with you?”

“You know how it is. I spend all day here and then I go home to the girls.” She looked him over and then lit up. “The girls have been wanting to do something before school starts. Camping would be my go-to, but you know Alex…” She pulled out her phone and slid it over. “Do you want to come to the zoo with us? We’d have to drive to Seattle so I could use some adult company and Jack would love it.”

“Of course, the only hurdle will be coordinating our schedules.” He looked down at his watch. “I should really be going if I want to be on time.” After getting up he waited to give Jody a hug before heading out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a switch of perspective in this chapter. It is labeled with bold italics.

The rest of the summer was one of the best that Castiel had since he was teenager. Perhaps that was because time he spent with Dean made him feel like he was sixteen again. Their dates were rather formulaic: they would get food or go to movie, but at the end of the night they would end up back in Dean’s Impala. Only now it seemed that Dean was the one that stopped them as soon as hands tried to slip under the clothes.

It was mid-August when Dean finally invited Castiel to his house for dinner, and had slyly asked if it was possible for him to stay the night. Though he was hesitant he decided that he could always back out later. Gabriel volunteered to watch Jack for the night with the contingency that Castiel would set aside sometime to explain _everything_ that had been going on— _the price of extra babysitting is information, little bro._

That afternoon Castiel frowned as he packed his overnight bag. His years in the military and his own tendency towards minimalism meant that he knew how to pack lightly. As he grabbed a t-shirt to sleep in, he saw Jack standing in the doorway.

“You’re having a sleepover too?”

“Yes, I am.” Castiel tried to look busy, not exactly knowing how to broach this topic with Jack.

“It’s with Dean, right? He’s your special friend.”

“Yes, he is.”

“I like Dean. He hasn’t been over in a while.”

“Dean and I want some alone time every once in a while.”

“Alone from me?” Jack frowned as went to sit down Castiel’s bed. It was humorous as he sat at the edge, his feet dangling due to the height.

“Grown-ups need alone time, if you want, I could invite him over for dinner again.”

“Can he make those burgers he promised?”  
“Of course.”

During lunch it still seemed that Jack was sad, so Castiel took him out by the lake to skip rocks again. It was a simple, but something that never failed to put a smile on his face. As they selected their rocks he was reminded of Kelly. When he returned home, they met on the beach, drinking coffee on the rocks. He almost didn’t go near the water but she insisted that since it was low tide, they needed to look for sand dollars. No sand dollars were found, but she found quite a few smooth, flat stones and insisted on teaching him how to properly skip rocks.

“Daddy, aren’t you going to throw them?”

Castiel had been crouching down, he rose and that’s when he felt his phone vibrate. While he normally would try to keep his phone usage a minimum around Jack, lately he’d at least check it. “One moment, Jack… Hello, Gabriel.”

“Cassie, I’m sorry but the Sunday morning baker called out. I have to cover the first shift of the morning.” That meant he would be starting at 2:00 AM, and he probably be going to bed around six. Typically, a baker’s schedule worked quite well for a babysitter. Gabriel frequently watched Jack because he got off around 1:00 pm and Castiel didn’t work that late so he could still get plenty of sleep for his next shift.

“These things come up; I understand. It was nice of you to offer though.”

“I hope I didn’t ruin your date.”

“Perhaps it’s for the best.” Castiel said goodbye and sighed as he hung up. Jack had given up on getting his attention and was doing his best to skip stones. He quickly typed a text to Dean before running to join Jack.

He didn’t check his phone until an hour later. Even though he thought the news would brighten Jack’s mood, Castiel knew that he was perceptive and had picked up on his father’s disappointment. Still, he went to play in the backyard while Castiel tidied the kitchen, looking at the large bank of windows the entire time. After a while his phone rang again.

“Hello Dean.”

“Heya Cas. Listen I know you can’t spend the night, but how about I come over? Maybe make the two of you dinner?”

“Jack did request your burgers.”

“That I can do.”

Castiel almost said his goodbye, but he stopped himself. “If you want you are invited to spend the night. It will be a PG sleepover as Jack’s bedroom is across the hall, but if you want…”

“I’d like that.”

Almost two hours later, Castiel heard the now familiar rumble of Dean’s Impala. He parked it next to his Prius and got out of his car with several grocery bags. “Burgers were requested not a weekly shopping trip,” Castiel teased as he let him in the house.

“I didn’t know what you had. I can take home the leftovers.”

As soon as Dean unpacked the groceries, Jack bolted in the house to study the man carefully. “Burgers?”

“My classic bacon cheese smash burgers,” he responded.

“Daddy says that cheese is only a few chemicals away from plastic.” He pointed at the blue and yellow package of American cheese. “Bacon _and_ beef, Daddy says--”

“It’s perfectly alright for tonight Jack. Now, Dean wants to make us dinner. Why don’t you go play until it’s ready?”

“It’ll be an hour,” Dean responded, and arranged things in a neat order on the counter. He didn’t speak again until Jack has bolted upstairs to retrieve a toy. “Good thing he didn’t seen the buns, they’re made with white flour.” He walked over to wrap Castiel in a hug planting a kiss on his cheek. “These are okay, right? I forgot you’re a health nut.”

“It’s mainly for Jack’s benefit…” He looked at the items on the counter, landing on the American cheese. “And after eight years in the army you appreciate healthy, home cooked meals.”

“Well, I brought tomatoes and lettuce.” He points to the head of iceberg. “And the patties will be made from scratch.” At that he slapped the paper wrapped package of meat. “You have pickles, right?”  
“I do…” Castiel peeked his head out towards the living room. “Thank you for coming. Jack was a bit disappointed that we were having a sleep over without him. I don’t think he fully understands that sometimes adults want alone time.”

Dean shrugged. “Kids will be kids. No explanation is owed to me if you ever need to cancel.”

“You’re the first person I’ve ever really had around Jack,” Castiel said as he began to walk around the kitchen getting him the supplies necessary for cooking: cutting board, bowl, knife. “The first person that I’ve been involved with.”

“A string of secret lovers?” Dean asked as he began to start cutting up the tomatoes.

“Not exactly being the single father to an infant took up most of my time. I did have a brief involvement with one of the woman I work with.” Castiel reached for the lettuce to begin washing it. Talking about Meg was never something he liked to do. “She knew about Jack, but wasn’t interested in being around him.” _I’m not mother material, Castiel. I love you so much, I don’t think I will ever love anyone as much as you. But I’m not cut out for your life._

“Fuck, that’s…” Dean shook his head as he walked over to place the cutting board next to the sink, presumably to put the lettuce. “At least she was honest with you.” His tone was more serious, mouth set straight. “It hurts, but sometimes you just have to walk away to keep the people you love safe.”

Castiel looked out the window above the sink. Jack was currently on the swing going high, he pumped his legs hard and then kicked them straight out like he was trying to touch the sky. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

“I haven’t had an apple pie life. Didn’t know if I would ever want one.” Dean shrugged and then crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the counter, his hips dangerously close to Castiel. “But I don’t mind it.” A hand went to Castiel’s lower back as Dean leaned in. “And I would be stupid to not give you a try because of Jack.”

Castiel didn’t realize how tense he was. He loosens his shoulders, and turns to stand in front of him. “Thank you for being so honest with me.”

“Let’s get these burgers started before it gets too late.

* * *

**_Dean’s Perspective_ **

A few hours later Dean was elbow deep in a sink of hot water. Dinner had gone surprisingly well. Dean was surprised at how heartily Castiel dug into his burger, even going for a second. Jack seemed to be equally pleased, happy to make his own burger leading to ketchup smeared across his face and dripped onto his shirt.

After dinner Jack begged and begged to go out and skip rocks on the lake (“For the second time today”). He was so full of bright enthusiasm as he ran ahead of them. If Castiel hadn’t shouted—or rather sternly spoke—at him to stop he would have ended knee deep in the water. It made Dean’s heart pang for a life he had left behind a few years ago.

He tried to push the last thought out of his head as he put the pots and pans in the drying rack. Water had spilled everywhere and he looked around for a towel, but Castiel had said he was washing the towels as grease had spilled all over them when he was cooking. He felt uncomfortable digging around, so he went upstairs to ask.

While downstairs was largely impersonal—the closest was a few pieces of Jack’s artwork on the fridge—the upstairs hall was filled with pictures. There were what appeared to be school pictures; pictures of Castiel and Jack at all of the boy’s various life stages; and one rather stuffy looking family photo taken in front of a Christmas tree with what must be Castiel’s siblings and parents. He tried to pick out who must be Jack’s mother, but there was only one woman that didn’t seem to be family. A kind looking woman who a much younger Castiel had an arm strung over her shoulder—he couldn’t be more than 20 in the photo. The next photo she was in was with the blond man from the family photo in front of the Christmas tree.

Laughter made him stop studying the photos. He walked away and went to what must be Jack’s room. Inside Castiel had changed into sleep pants and a t-shirt—the most casual he had ever seen him. He had pulled a chair close to the bed where Jack was tucked in. He couldn’t tell what he was reading, but he listened as his voice changed for each character along with flowing hand moments. Not wanting to interrupt the moment he leaned against the doorframe, allowing himself to listen. After what had to be at least a good twenty minutes Cas gave him a kiss on the forehead and smoothed out Jack’s damp hair.

“Night Dean,” the boy called out.

“Good night,” he answered in reply.

Castiel walked out looking quite puzzled. “How long were you standing there?”

“Long enough to hear your voices,” he whispered. “I came for a dish towel but stayed for the show.”

“I keep the towels in the closet next to the spare room,” he said. “And I will not be ashamed for entertaining my son.” The smirk on his face seemed to indicate that he was not angry as placed a warm hand on Dean’s back and followed him closely down the stairs. “They are just to the left, the narrow door.”

Dean waited for him to hand him one. The dish towel wasn’t one of the cheap terry cloth ones he had, but one of the thin towels with embroidered flowers on it. “I looked at the pictures upstairs.”

“It’s not like I was trying to keep them hidden,” Castiel said plainly.

“I know, it’s…” Dean didn’t want to have this conversation now. Jack was just above him and it was late. All he wanted was to kick up his feet, make out, and watch a movie. Something was nagging him though. Nothing seemed to add up in his mind. He said he hadn’t been with a man since he was 20; he’d been in the military for quite a while; and then there was the fact that there was absence of pictures of Castiel with someone who could be Jack’s biological mother. “Never mind.”

In the kitchen he dried the counter of the water and hung the towel on the small rack on the side of one of the cabinets. When he turned around, he saw Castiel leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. “You know many think that my social skills are lacking, but I like to think that I am perceptive enough to notice when something is amiss. It seemed as though you wanted to ask me something.”

“I don’t want to ruin the night and it’s nothing.”

“Please Dean. No secrets from me.” The man closed the distance between them, hand gong to rub his arm. “Why don’t I make tea?”

“None for me.”

“Hot chocolate? If you don’t tell Jack. It’s not that cold we can sit on the porch.”

“Sure, Cas…”

Dean didn’t know what to expect, but Castiel got out a sauce pan along with cocoa powder, milk, sugar, vanilla, and salt. With practiced patience the man stared at the stove waiting for milk to boil and whisking the ingredients together. “You can change if you want. There is bathroom in my room, first one at the top of stairs. You can also change in the spare room downstairs.”

A few minutes later the pair sat with their legs dangling off the edge of the small porch. They were close with a soft, loosely knitted blanket over their legs. “Jack may be an early riser, but he’s probably sound asleep right now so you can speak freely.” Castiel blew on the hot chocolate, steam rose from his honeybee mug.

“I want to leave well enough alone, but when I looked at those pictures, I couldn’t help but wonder where Jack’s mom was.”

“Oh…” Castiel let out a hearty sigh before he took a sip. “It’s normal to wonder. She was up there. The woman with short brown hair.”

“I thought as much, but that’s not what I meant.”

“I know. It’s just I forget, the town is small, but…”

Castiel set down the mug, holding himself as if he is cold. Dean throws an arm around him. He always forgets just how strong Castiel is until he’s in his arms. He looks smaller than Dean, but he knows it’s all lean muscle there. “Let’s just forget this and watch a movie.”

“No.” His voice is firm as he sits up a bit straighter causing Dean to drop his arm. “Well first of all you should know that I’m not Jack’s biological father.”

“Did you adopt him?”

“In a way, I’m his paternal uncle. His father was Luke, if you recall I told you that he had passed.”

“Yeah…”

“Luke and his girlfriend were involved in a car accident. It was just over five years ago.” Castiel stared straight ahead, his blue eyes seeming dark as the scanned the night sky. “Luke was pronounced dead at the scene. Kelly was taken to the hospital. I was close to her; I’d met her my freshman year of college. I stayed with her the whole night and…and I thought she would be alright.”

Dean watched as the normally stoic Castiel seemed to break in front of him, pressing a fist to his mouth to hold back a cry. Even after his PTSD episode he was not like this. Distant, shameful, tired, that was what he saw then. Now he looked to nearly be in physical pain. “You don’t need to tell me the rest.”

“No. I can finish.” The words came out with great effort. “The hospital called the local law school clinic to send someone to draft a will. She said if anything happened that I was to raise Jack.” He laughed. It was full of bitterness, an odd sound that he forced out. “Because for some reason she looked at me and thought I would be a good father.” Castiel looked out distantly. “At that point I was three months stateside struggling to become a civilian again. Drinking heavily, begrudgingly going to therapy, working a dead-end job in grocery store.”

“She was right,” Dean said. “I mean granted my bar for a good father is not that high, but Jack seems happy. And from what I seen you’d give June Cleaver a run for her money as far as parents go.”

“Thanks.” Castiel reached for him, a warm hand settling on his thigh. “To this day I don’t know what happened, but the trauma of the accident combined with the birth was too much for Kelly. She died shortly after Jack was born.”

“Jesus… I never expected that.”

“On paper I was good enough for the court. But I lived with my parents for six months, I had no clue how to care for a newborn. I don’t think I would have survived without them or my siblings.” He shrugged. “They helped me get a two-bedroom apartment here, and then about a year ago my parents insisted that I started putting down roots.”

“It’s good that your family is in your corner.”

“Yes, but… They don’t want me solely responsible for cleaning up Lucifer’s mess alone.”

“Lucifer?”

“Sorry, force of habit. My siblings and I’s nickname for him. My brother was not the most agreeable person. The details of which I may tell you at some point, but…”

Dean looked at Castiel. The man had never been anything but loving with his son that he had seen. “What do you mean his mess?”

“Luke had a way of getting into all sorts of trouble. While Jack is one of the best things that has happened to me, how it happened with Kelly was awful. He just stopped speaking with her after she told him she pregnant. To this day I have no idea why she was in the car with him that night.” Castiel reached for the mug again, trying to get any warmth from the mostly cooled hot chocolate.

Dean drank down the rest of his hot chocolate too, and watched for Castiel to finish his. “Come here.” He pulled Castiel close, an arm around him. “Why don’t we watch a movie now, it’s not too late.”

“I feel as though I always cast a cloud on our dates. I don’t know if I feel like a movie now.”

Dean pressed a kiss to his temple. “Can I spend the night?”

“Of course, that didn’t change.”

“We can go to bed and be very quiet then.”

“Why would we—”

Dean cut off Castiel’s words with a kiss. One hand kept on the back of the neck to hold him close. “I know we probably shouldn’t do much with Jack next door, but would something like that would be alright?”

Castiel only answered with another kiss.

* * *

**_Castiel’s Perspective_ **

When Castiel awoke the next morning, it was early like usual. Sleep had come easy, though, after he had told Dean everything. To his credit the man didn’t look at him with sympathy, just understanding. Beside him Dean was still sleeping soundly, covers wrapped around him tightly. Even after he took a shower, he was still undisturbed. He dug around in his nightstand to find pen and paper. Then he wrote: _Making breakfast downstairs, come down when you’re ready._

On the weekends he would usually spend more time on breakfast than the usual cereal or oatmeal. Glancing at the clock he saw it was 6:45, Jack would be up no later than 7:30 knowing him. He began to gather ingredients: some he kept in the freezer, onion, cheese, and eggs. He makes slow work of this, pausing long enough to start coffee. About fifteen minutes later he hears footsteps on the stairs.

“Did you brush your teeth?” he questioned.

“Nah, I forget my bag downstairs.”  
“Dean forgive me I thought you were Jack.”  
“I thought as much, why didn’t you wake me?”

“You didn’t stir the entire time I was getting ready. I thought you could use it.”

“You probably need the rest more.” Dean came up behind him as Castiel paused the ingredient preparation. “I’m not too used to someone else cooking; you’re going to spoil me.” He placed his hands on Castiel’s waist, rolling his hips against his ass.

The moment was cut short by footsteps on the stairs, followed by a: “Daddy.”

Dean pulled away quickly, turning around to lean against the counter. A smile crossed Castiel’s face as he turned around. “Fifteen more minutes and then we’ll have food.” He looked to the egg carton he pulled out and began to crack it into a bowl.

“Did you guys have a fun sleepover?”

“Kind of boring,” Dean said with a smirk across his face. Castiel held back an eyeroll, sensing he was trying to get a rise out of him. “We just talked.”

“That’s it? No board games? No movies? No snacks?”

Castiel almost interrupted, but when he turned around with a bowl of whisked eggs, he saw Dean cross the kitchen to ruffle his son’s hair and let out a deep, hearty laugh. The man then side tracked him by asking him to help set the table.

This was enough of a head start as he added the onions and the ham to the pan. By the time he added the eggs, Dean and Jack were getting out bread for toast. It was so much easier with just a bit more help. By the time he sat down Dean was making Jack bubble with laughter. Castiel looked between the two of them and was hit with a stunning realization. He was falling in love with Dean Winchester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Castiel tells Dean about how he came to adopt Jack, briefly discusses Kelly's passing. It is all inside "Dean's Perspective" section.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Unfortunately for the past week or so I've not had internet. I just got it back last night so here is the chapter, I will try to post on Saturday as well. 
> 
> Note: There are mentions of homophobia in this chapter, I will put details in the note below if you would like to skip but it does contain spoilers. 
> 
> Another less serious note, is that I've never really set the exact years this takes place. Basically present day is in 2020/1 (minus Covid-19). This is important for some of the timing that comes up later. Their is a flashback contained in the chapter that just states 14 years ago, this is approximately 2006 and Castiel's Sophomore year of college.

Early Monday afternoon he was surprised to get a phone call from reception saying that he had a visitor for lunch. Castiel frowned. He normally took his lunch from 12:30-1:30 every day, but the only person who ever came to see him was Jody. As he walked out, he heard laughter and saw his brother, Gabriel, leaned against the counter with two pink boxes from his bakery and a paper bag.

“Cassie! I was wondering when you were going to show.”

“Gabriel, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, I got off work, and I thought I would have lunch with my favorite brother.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms over his chest. He looked over his brother who looked like he rolled out of bed, but was most likely just in half of his work clothes. He wore grey linen pants and a white undershirt, dusting of flour still showing. Even though Gabriel was on the other side of the counter he could smell the sweet scent that clung to his clothes.

“I come bearing gifts. Two boxes of cookies, one for the veterans and one for the staff and lunch for us.” He grinned widely as he held up the paper bag.

Castiel relented and waved him through, leading him back to his office. He eyed Gabriel who grinned ear to ear. “You didn’t actually watch Jack so no information is owed.”

“Arrow to the heart.” He clutched his chest as he dramatically collapsed in the chair. “Can’t two brothers spend some quality time together? I brought you lunch, real food. No peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

“Peanut butter and jelly are my favorite,” Castiel responded.

“Sorry to disappoint. I brought sandwiches and soup. Kali’s been on me about eating better.” He pulled out two foil wrapped sandwiches first then two containers of soup and then two wax paper sleeves. “Peanut butter cookies.”

“It is very thoughtful.” Without saying a word, he began to unwrap the sandwich and take the lid off the soup to allow it cool. While Gabriel was the easiest of his siblings to get along with, he could be quite troublesome. He cared deeply about his siblings, but this was wrapped beneath many layers of jokes and antics. Over the years Castiel had learned to appreciate it. The letters, emails, and phone calls from Gabriel while he was overseas helped him forget—if only a few moments—all the violence and pain around him.

“Cas, I know it kind of came off as a joke, but I am genuinely curious. You can’t keep this woman under lock and key forever. With a few candy bars and brownies Jack will sing like a canary.”

Castiel finished taking a bit of his sandwich before setting it down. “I wish you wouldn’t bribe my son.”

“Well, if you don’t start talking soon Anna’s going to blab to Michael or mom.”

“What do you mean Anna is going to blab?”

“We had dinner a week or two ago. She told me that like over a month ago she watched Jack on a Friday night. You came to the door with your hair combed and wearing your nice khakis and had on cologne, but all you said is that you were hanging with a work friend.”

“Do the two of you have such boring lives you spend all dinner gossiping about me?”

“Weren’t you the one that was so proud that I started “acting like an adult” and now you’re criticizing me because my life is boring?”

“Do not turn this around on me Gabriel.”

“Ooh scary dad voice.” He had a smirk on his face. “And we don’t gossip. Anna is the only one that will tell me anything. Getting information out of you and Michael is like… I can’t think of a comparison, but it’s hard. The only reason I know anything about you is because of Jack.”

“I am a private person. And if you must know I’ve been involved for almost two months.”

“Involved? Please give me the details.”

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose. The food in front of him smelled delightful, but Gabriel was triggering a headache that would cause nausea soon enough. “Fine, but you better keep this to yourself, is that clear? I better not hear of you disclosing information to Dad or Anna.”

“Scout’s honor.”

“You were kicked out of the boy scouts,” Castiel replied.

“Semantics. Give me all the details. How did you meet? What is she like? How’s the sex? Has Jack met her?”

Castiel looked down at the food and thought it would be better to eat something first. Goodness knows once he started talking, Gabriel wouldn’t let him stop until he finished. “First of all, you should know it’s not a _she,_ it’s a _he_.”

What he doesn’t expect to see is Gabriel’s face spreading into a smile. “Finally.”

“What do you mean finally?” The secrecy had been burdening him for some time. He was taken aback to have the information so hard to give, taken so lightly. This was something he had worried about telling his family, afraid of a reaction like Luke's even though every ounce of common sense within him told him they would be more accepting. With Jody and Sam it just came out naturally, it didn’t feel like he was coming out. They never made a big deal out of it either. 

“Come on, Cas. You’ve always just seemed a bit more interested in men.”

“I happen to like both equally.” He reached for the soup, taking in a few bites, letting his brother stew for a bit. “The last person I dated was a women, Meg, if you remember.”

“The one that didn’t want to be around Jack. Oh, I remember.” To Gabriel that has to be the worst thing you could say about a person. His brother cherished Jack, to him the boy was an angel on earth. “You’ve never told me about liking men, and I’m oblivious to things like that. You should know that Luke told me.”

“Luke?” Castiel practically dropped the spoon mid bite. His limbs froze, but his heart beat faster. It took a bit to stave off the awful memory from floating to the surface. “What did Luke tell you?”

“Do you remember the Easter where mom sent Luke and I to the store, but he came back with a bloody nose and black eye?”

“Of course. She was livid, and made Anna put makeup on him for church and pictures the next day.”

“I just told mom that he was acting like Lucifer again, but that wasn’t the truth…” Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck. “He…He was complaining about living with you. I told him to grow up, but then he started bragging about how he finally got dirt on the perfect Castiel.”

The year prior he had lived in the dorms, but his mother promised to pay for a nice off campus apartment if he agreed to live with Luke who attended law school at the same university. The two had not gotten along as children and it was even worse as adults. Luke had strings of women that he brought home even though he claimed to be dating Kelly. Not only that but his study habits were lazy, and a few times Castiel had caught him in the act of what had to be cheating. “Did he tell you what this dirt was?”

“He said he walked in on you with another man.” Gabriel shook his head. “I told him to fuck off, but he seemed giddy that he could turn you in to your ROTC leader.”

The food in Castiel’s mouth turned to ash. He only had an hour for lunch he couldn’t afford to spend the time talking about one of the worst days of his life. But that didn’t mean it didn’t stop the memories from swirling around in his head.

* * *

****

**_The Past: 14 Years Ago_ **

Castiel surveyed the apartment with a smile. Luke had left three days ago for a ski trip with Kelly, and then he was going straight home for Christmas. Kelly said that her parents didn’t mind him coming along, but he knew that Luke would. Besides, he had better plans. They had an entire month off for winter break, and he had almost two weeks before his parents expected him home. Two glorious weeks to himself, and a few days that he could spend alone with Alfie.

Alfie. He was also an accounting major, and Castiel hadn’t been this head over heels even with his high school girlfriend. He had adorable elfin features and bright eyes. He was self-assured and could carry a conversation for the both of them. Both had little experience with men and relationships in general. They kept their relationship quiet, though, they did spend a lot of time behind the locked door of Alfie’s dorm. That hadn't gone unnoticed by some of the other residents. The two of them hadn’t had any serious talks. There was no asking what they meant to each other, but the both of them had not seen anyone else. Castiel knew that was all he could expect, at least for now. Things would not be pleasant if his ROTC leader found out that he was dating a man.

Still, he tried to push these thoughts out of his head as he got the apartment ready. Alfie’s dorm kicked him out for winter break today, but he had a shift at the local fast-food joint. He promised to bring them dinner. Castiel had worked hard on desert. As a college student he couldn’t really afford much in the way of presents, but had been baking like crazy. Everyone seemed to appreciate homemade cookies, even if it did earn him a liberal amount of teasing from some of the guys in his ROTC class. Alfie, though, would appreciate getting to decorate Christmas cookies.

A loud knock caught him in the middle of creating a fire. Castiel wiped his hands on his pants before going to the door. “You look nearly drowned,” he said. Washington hardly every snowed where they were, but it made up from it with the rain. Outside it must have been pouring, Alfie was soaked to the bone, cheeks and nose all pink.

“It’s freezing too.”

After the door shut, Castiel wrapped him in his arms—rain be damned—despite the fact he was carrying to large bags of food and had a backpack. “The fireplace actually works. Sit in front of it while I grab you some dry clothes.”

“I have a bag full of stuff.”  
“Perhaps I want you wearing my clothes,” he whispered, then goes to nip at his ear.

“Okay.” A wide smile is spread across his face. “Is eating on the couch okay or is Mr. Manners going to insist on the table?”

“Couch is perfect.” Castiel gave him another kiss before he went to his bedroom. Most of his clothes are not meant for lounging, so he grabs one of his flannel pajama pants and a long sleeve with ARMY emblazoned on the front. In the living room, Alfie has made himself at home. His back pack is resting beside the couch, and jacket hanging on the hook beside the door. The food is spread out and he grabbed condiments from the fridge. One thing that catches his eye is a bottle of amber colored liquid. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Alfie is not shy. He immediately peels off his red and white striped uniform shirt, exchanging it for the long sleeve. Castiel bites his lip to his keep sounds from escaping because he looks so _good._ His skin is all creamy porcelain, his figure long and lithe. He gets turned on when Alfie lets his work pants fall to the ground revealing a pair of blue boxer briefs that hug his ass so well. “Don’t get too excited, dinner and cookies first.”

“Of course. It looks like drinks too.”

“One of juniors that lives on my floor owed me. I didn’t know if you drank, but I thought it would be fun together.”

“It would.” Castiel smiled, his clothes swallowed Alfie. He’s not a large man—and their height is only off by a couple inches—but the other man’s figure is so petite he almost looks more like a child with the pants puddling around his feet and sleeves covering his hand.

After he grabs some glasses with ice, they sit next to each other on the couch. It’s the start to what should be the perfect evening as they laugh and drink probably a bit too much of the cheap whiskey. The food is devoured, and much appreciated. Alfie gets a steep discount so they are stuffed full of fries and burgers and other various heart disease inducing sides. “I think you promised me cookies.”

“Now?”

“That’s why I came.”

“I was hoping you came for other reasons.” Castiel laid a hand on his thigh with a smile. “But sure.”

So, they decorate cookies. Or Alfie does. Castiel is more practical in his decoration, more concerned with the ratio of frosting to cookie. Alfie is delighted by the fact that Castiel has loads of uncolored frosting and little vials of food dye. Every cookie is made with care. The Santa cookies with a red hat, pink dots on cheeks, and white beard. The reindeer has green sprinkles for eyes and a red smudge of frosting on the nose. Each Christmas tree has a unique string of frosting garland and sprinkle ornaments. Castiel could watch him do this for hours.

“Is this an alright Christmas present?”

“The best.” Alfie pressed a sweet kiss to his lip. “Oh! Just one second.” He walked away and came back with a small bundle. “Not the best at wrapping.”

“It’s great.” He opened it and sees a scarf. It’s a chunky knit and dark blue speckled throughout with lighter shades of blue. “It’s lovely.”

“I made it.” Alfie twined it around his neck and pulled him close.

Castiel doesn’t know what to say, but his words are tangled with emotion. Right now, he couldn’t picture anyone else than Alfie, and he doesn’t know why this has to be a secret. What could be wrong with loving such kind, thoughtful person?

“Why don’t we pour another drink and sit in front of the fire? I’m getting cold again.”

The fire is still burning strong. Castiel pushed the coffee table out of the way and spread one of his blankets out before grabbing pillows to lean against. It’s like something out of a romantic movie. Although, he supposed those movies would have heterosexual leads and they would be drinking red wine instead of cheap whiskey.

Alfie grabbed the drink from Castiel’s hand, and practically ends up in his laps. Their mouths meet and the kiss is far from innocent. It’s long and hard, tongue probing inside as Alfie grabs a fistful of Castiel’s sweater. Castiel groaned, grinding his hips against Alfie in the attempt to get some sort of stimulation. “Bedroom?” the smaller man asked.

“Why? It’s my blanket.”

Alfie just grinned and jumped on top of Castiel, straddling him. Castiel’s hand slipped under his shirt, enjoyed the feeling of delicate skin before he reached his nipples. With a smirk, he pinched the nipples enjoying the small yelp from Alfie as he wiggled against him. Clothes begin to peel off in layers, shirt, pants, belts thrown aside. When only their underwear was left, Castiel flipped Alfie on to the ground. The smaller man’s eyes sparkled with excitement, and he moaned when Castiel pinned a wrist to the ground. From experience, he knew that Alfie quite liked it when Castiel overpowered him.

A hand went down to trace the outline of his cock with his free hand. “Stay there,” he ordered as he sat up. When he prepared for dinner, he stored some lube and condoms in the end table. “Do you want me to fuck you?” He kept his tone casual as he leaned down to kiss his cock through his underwear, hands going up to hold him down.

“God, yes, please…”

Castiel just went to kiss him again, he shifted his hands up, and held his wrists in one hand, delighted by just how thin they are. He reached for the waistband, hooking his thumbs in. When he was about to pull them down, he froze. There was a sound that didn’t seem like neighbors upstairs or the crackle of the fireplace.

“Cas, what’s wrong? I want you. Please hold me down, finger me, fuck me,” Alfie pleaded. From the look in his eyes it’s as if he thinks what Castiel is doing is a game.

“Shh… I don’t…” He let go of Alfie’s wrist, about ready to stand up when he heard what sounded like keys, and then… “Shit.”

“Is that?”

There wasn’t any time to think, before they knew what hit them Luke strutted through the door. “Baby Cassie, I’m hooo _me_.”

Castiel frantically reached for clothes to hand Alfie. “Stop! Luke, please.”

It’s no use the front door led directly to the living room. “Holy shit. I wish I had a camera to document the loss of virginity.”

“Leave!” Castiel shouted, he threw the shirt at Alfie, but didn’t know he was the only thing blocking Luke’s view.

“You’re… That’s…. Perfect little Castiel is a fag.”

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered to Alfie whose sweet face is distorted into something of horror. “What are you even doing here?” he asked, turning to face his brother.

“It’s my apartment to,” he said. “And if you must know that bitch and I got into an argument so I took the first bus home.”

“Don’t call Kelly a bitch.”

“Rather I call you one?” he replied dryly.

“Cas you said that…” Alfie looked miserable as he tried to hide his body while slipping back on the pajama pants.

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, wanting nothing more than to hold him close. Suddenly Castiel feels so very cold even with the fire burning hot. “Luke can you give us some fucking privacy?” 

“Why don’t you try not fucking in my living room?”

“Shut up!” Castiel got to his feet, stalking over to his brother. Luke is a bit taller, but in the past few years Castiel had gained quite a bit of muscle. His brother was not a threat to him, not anymore.

“Are you going to make me?”

“I’m not fighting with you, please just leave.”

“No, I’ll go just give me a few minutes to change.”

“No, _no,_ please stay.”

“I don’t want to stay somewhere I’m not welcome.”

Castiel begged again while Luke just sauntered around the apartment. He took a seat at the table with his feet propped up as he lit up a cigarette as if it’s a live performance he’s watching. Alfie doesn’t stop once he comes out of the bathroom dressed in his own clothing. When Castiel goes to kiss him goodbye, Alfie just reached over and gave his arm a squeeze. He just said that he would see him around, and not to worry, his sister had an apartment in town he could crash at.

“Are you happy?” Castiel stormed over, knocking Luke’s feet off the table.

“Sure you want to do that little bro? You should be nice to me.”

“Why? With how you acted you’re lucky that you’re still conscious.”

“I’ve never seen you this angry, must have pushed a few buttons. But still I wouldn’t threaten me.” He had a smirk on his face. “You wouldn’t want me to let slip what I found out tonight.”

“No one would believe you.”

“Is that why you seemed so angry? What are you going to do? Run to mommy like you’ve been doing for these past few months. You think she’d be thrilled about this?”

Castiel let his hands curl up into fists, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything to his brother. He walked into the kitchen for a glass of water, and about broke down when he saw all the carefully decorated cookies laid across the kitchen counter. Tonight, should have been perfect. He wanted to make love. He was tired of the rushed, secretive sex, but it seemed like he would never get anything more than that. Luke ruined it. Like he ruined everything.

* * *

**_Present_ **

“I didn’t mean to bring all this shit up. It just never seemed right, and you never told me so I didn’t know if it was a secret.”

“I wasn’t ashamed, just fearful.” Castiel replied. “At that point I had my life all planned out and Luke had the power to rip it away.” Even though ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ was repealed during his service, he never was able to shake the feeling that it was dirty secret he had.

“Enough of that.” _He’s gone now,_ seemed to be the unsaid words Gabriel said. His brother gave him a comforting smile, Castiel knew when they got up, he would sweep him up into one of his warm, bone-crushing hug. “Tell me about this guy.”

“Just tell me what you want to know.” Castiel looked at the sandwich and decided to try to eat again.

“Everything! How you met, what’s he’s like… I don’t know. Just give me your best Anna impression and go ahead.”

“His name is Dean. He owns his own business as a handyman, that’s how we met. He fixed my roof.”

“A handyman…” Gabriel waggled his eyebrows. “Is he cute?”

“Gabriel…”

“I can appreciate the male specimen!” he objected. “And that’s all that happened, he came to fix your roof and then he slipped you his number?”

“It took longer than that. I’m friends with his brother so we spoke at his family’s barbeque—”

“You met his family?”

Castiel ignored him and continued: “He also painted my house, and was nice enough to work on the weekend when Claire and Alex broke my window.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know what you want to know. He is a kind man that is very understanding, and has a good sense of humor. He is not bothered by Jack. In fact, when you cancelled, he volunteered to come over and cook us dinner.”

“He’s met Jack?” Gabriel’s eyes widened when a nod was given, he let out a low whistle. “Well, I’m glad for you little bro. You always put Jack first. I’m glad that you finally started dating someone.”

Castiel rolled his eyes as he went to polish off his sandwich.

“When do I get to meet him?”

He had to stop himself from spitting out. “You’re not meeting him.”

“You met _his_ family. Come on, I need to check him out. Make sure he’s alright for you.”

Castiel pinched his nose and then looked at the clock. “My lunch break is over in a few minutes. Why don’t we table this for now?”

Gabriel frowned as he gathered his garbage into the paper sack. The brothers only murmured goodbyes, Gabriel pausing at the door to sweep his brother into one of his warm hugs. When Castiel sat back down at his desk, he realized how much better it felt to tell one of his family members about Dean, but he did not expect the sudden resurgence of memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The homophobia mentioned is a past event. Castiel alludes to the fact that Luke did something. Gabriel mentioned that Luke told him he found out he was gay. There is a flash back to when Castiel is in college, approximately 19 or 20. He thinks he's going to have the apartment alone to have a date with a guy he's been seeing, they are about to have sex when Luke comes home unexpectedly. Luke uses a slur when talking to Castiel and threatens to out him to his ROTC leader (at this time Don't Ask Don't Tell would have been in effect so Castiel could be kicked out of the military if Luke followed through).


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legitmately forgot that I was going to post again on Saturday. Ooops. Well, I hope this brightens your Monday :) It's a pretty fluffy chapter compared to the last one.

Summer was coming to a close rather quickly. For whatever reason, Dean’s business started to pick up and he had not spent that much time together. The two had not yet been able to spend the night at Dean’s place. Mainly because it was proving next to impossible to find someone to watch Jack overnight.

Castiel showed up at Jody’s when she was clearing away the dinner dishes from the table. He had been invited to one of the support group’s monthly potlucks, and it was the sheriff’s night off so she volunteered to watch Jack.

“I was hoping you would be late enough so I could hide the evidence.” She sighed as Castiel followed her to the table to help. He smiled upon seeing a large casserole dish filled with macaroni and cheese with sliced hotdogs. There was another bowl full of carrots and peas.

“I could care less as long as I am not the one consuming it,” he joked, following her with the leftovers in the kitchen. “Are the kids upstairs?”

“Yes, Claire was so wound up I needed them out of my hair. At least Jack can keep her occupied with non-destructive activities.” She sighed. “She’s really excited about the zoo trip.” Jody frowned as she turned on the faucet after squirting in a bit of dish soap.

“It was your idea, why do you seem so glum?”

“With all the staff changes I’m going to have to have to work Saturday. School is in session next week, and with everything going I don’ know when I’ll be able to take them.”

“It wouldn’t be ideal because I know you want to be with them, but I’m more than willing to take all of them myself.”

Jody sighed again. She had looked so tired before, but now there was almost a look of pity crossing her face. “Cas I couldn’t ask you to do that. The kids are such a handful—”

“I watch all three children on a regular basis.”

“They can be a handful, and I don’t want you to get stressed out.”

It clicked into place for Castiel then. He had always known that Jody tried to fiercely protect the ones that she loved. He hadn’t known the Jody _before._ The person who she was before her husband and young son were ripped away from her so tragically. He just knew the Jody _now._ The one who took in two little girls with no families. The one who let Castiel and Jack into her heart with no questions asked. But he also knew that when his PTSD got bad, she worried too much, even long after the episode had passed.

“You know that I’ll be fine,” Castiel finally said, crossing the distance between the two of them. Putting a hand on her arm.

“Maybe I worry too much, but _I_ wouldn’t want to take all three of them to the zoo. I barely want to take both Alex and Claire to the store with me.”

“I can try to get one of my siblings to come with me, but they’ve been busy. I would feel a bit guilty as it’s hard enough for them to make time to watch Jack like they normally do.”

“What about Dean?”

“What?” Castiel didn’t think he had heard her right. Since he had eaten lunch with her a few weeks ago they hadn’t talked about Dean much other than him offering an update when prompted. That was essentially just telling her he came over for dinner.

“The kids have all met him before, and I trust Dean. I’ve known him for a long time.” Jody shrugged. “It’s up to you. I know part of me is just being a mother hen.”

“I think I would like Dean to come,” Castiel replied quietly. This just earns him a side hug from Jody before the pair sit down enjoying a few peaceful minutes before the children realized that he had arrived.

* * *

It turns out that Dean was thrilled to be invited to the zoo. He admitted to Castiel that he didn’t give a damn about the zoo, but was excited to spend the day together even if it involved three children. He hoped that sentiment was still true, because Castiel was worn thin by the time he woke up Saturday morning. Jody was pulling a twelve-hour shift, 5am-5pm so Castiel insisted that the girls spend the night so they didn’t have to coordinate mornings.

Dinner Friday night had been a bit early, but at least Jody was there to help him cook. Even though she wanted to help clean up, he ordered her to go home and sleep, sending her on her way with a container full of leftovers. That was just after six, which meant he had to last two hours with the children.

No matter how many times he watched Alex and Claire, it was hard to juggle all the children. Honestly each bedtime task should be an Olympic sport. Alex did say that she would help but she was only a year and half older than the other two, and Claire would reject any assistance. Somehow, he had them all tucked in to bed by 8:30 after reading to them from a book of children’s short stories. He kissed Jack on the forehead while Claire and Alex gave him a hug. The girls were snuggled into the trundle bed attached to Jack’s bed. He had felt odd about letting them sleep in Jack’s room, but he felt even worse making them sleep downstairs in his office’s daybed.

Morning was no better. He was good about establishing a routine with Jack, so usually their mornings could go like clockwork. Claire and Alex threw a wrench into a routine simply because there was more to be done. For an outing like his he would like to leave as soon as possible, but that was not a reality.

By the time Dean was knocking at his door, the house had descended into chaos. Or at least chaos in Castiel’s book. Jack was in his pajamas, Claire’s hair needed to be done, breakfast needed to be eaten, and lunch was only half-packed.

“Not quite ready to go,” he muttered gesturing for Dean to follow. The man had a small leather knapsack and was dressed in jeans with a tight black t-shirt.

“Can I help?”

“Yes, I believe I overestimated my abilities.” He gave him a warm smile, though, and a quick peck on the cheek. This earned a round of giggles from the three children. “I need to finish getting the children ready. Could you handle breakfast? I was going to make oatmeal.”

“Let me guess, on the stove?”

“Exactly. Alex should know where things are.”

Castiel goes upstairs with Jack to help him locate his favorite light blue and white striped shirt. He knew he should make the girls pack up their own bags, but instead he folds up their pajamas. He’s surprised that the girls are both sitting at the table, laughing. Dean is in the kitchen frowning.

“The milk attacked!” Claire shouted when she saw Castiel.

“It happens to the best of us.” He came up beside Dean as he gently nudged him out of the way. “Can you handle coffee?”

“Of course, smart ass, who boils milk this early anyway?” The words are quiet as he sneaked past him to go to the coffee machine.

After breakfast is made, it felt strangely domestic. Dean has eaten, so he offers to make the sandwiches for lunch while Castiel is at the table, trying to fix the girls’ hair. Another thing that he is not used. Alex’s hair is pin straight, but pins it away from her face with a butterfly clip. For Claire he coaxes her curls into clumsy twin braids, a skill he learned from all the years he was forced to play with Anna. 

Castiel is practically exhausted by the time the car is loaded up and the children are strapped into their seats into the Prius. He supposed Jody was right, having another adult on his side would be a good thing.

* * *

A few hours later, the kids are darting around the park zoo Castiel and Dean call out to them stay within sight. Well, Dean ends up being the one to call out. He’s much louder and for whatever reason Claire seems to pay more mind to it than Castiel’s voice. He suspects it’s because Dean is naturally louder so it doesn’t come off as angry.

“You’re good with them,” Castiel whispered as he bumped against Dean’s shoulder while they walked from the monkey enclosure to where the big cats were.

“Doubt that, but thanks for the ego boost.” Dean’s hand went to Castiel’s back, rubbing a small circle in center.

“No, I can tell that Claire likes you. I know she thinks I’m…I forget how she phrased it but boring I suppose.” He sighed.

“She’s five, and you’re an adult.”

“Well it doesn’t change the fact that I sincerely appreciate that you are here. I’m just surprised that you said you haven’t been around kids.”

Dean shrugged, and rubbed the back of his neck. “You know I practically raised Sammy. I haven’t been around someone their age since he was that old.” He let out a laugh.

Castiel couldn’t help but notice it was not Dean’s normal laugh. Usually his laugh was unguarded and came from deep inside his belly. When he laughed it reached his eyes, the most beautiful crinkles forming and the freckles on his nose almost seemed to dance. This was forced, and shallow. He hadn’t been with Dean that long, but it was as if there was more information that wasn’t being told.

“You know part of the reason Jody and I got so close is because she wants them to have positive male role models. They aren’t around a lot of men, other than Jody’s deputies.” Castiel shrugged, but before he could say more, Dean called out:

“Hey, Alex! Make sure Claire doesn’t climb on the Lion fence.”

“Thank you, we should hurry along.” Castiel rushed after them until he caught up with Jack. He let himself be distracted by their wonderment at the large creatures. Claire was particularly enamored by the lions. Jody’s nickname for her was her little lion cub. Partially because of her wild curls, and partially because of her feisty personality. They had walked through most of the outdoor exhibits when they got hungry. They found a picnic table near some large plastic animals the kids could climb on. “You three are in for a treat, I make the _best_ peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” Dean pulled the sandwiches from the Castiel’s backpack and handed them out.

“I don’t get one?”

“Of course.” Dean handed him one and pulled another out for himself.

“Good, my favorite.” He smirked. “We have butterflies and birds after lunch, then some of the indoor exhibits if you want to see them.” Castiel was taking a bite of the sandwich as he thumbed through the brochures. The kids looked a little disappointed as they sat their eating their food. “But we can spend a lot of time here so you can climb on the play structures.”

The three children eat quickly, and as soon as every last crumb is consumed, they dart to the play structure. Castiel moves from his spot across from Dean to next to him so he can keep them in sight. “I really do appreciate you coming.”

“Cas, it was just an excuse to spend the day with you.” Dean reached his hand forward, as if to grab Cas’s resting on the table. He stopped when a woman walked up to the table.

“Hello,” she greeted.

“Hello,” Dean replied when Castiel said nothing.

“I was just wondering if those were your children?”

“Yes, are they causing trouble?” Castiel sat up a bit straighter, eyes surveying the children. All three were in sight along with another little girl who Alex appeared to be chattering with.

“No, they’re very polite. I was just sitting on the bench over there when I saw you two. I just want to compliment the two of you for spending time with your kids. I should tell my husband that he should go on a dad date with your friends.”

Any lightness on Castiel’s face just melted off. He tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows. “Why would I not spend time with my child?”

The women looked a little taken aback.

“And lady, I don’t know what you thought but the two of us are together.” Dean put an arm around Castiel’s shoulder, and then gave her his best charming smile.

“Oh, I… I’m sorry…” She sputtered out and then turned around to sit back down on the bench on the other side.

“You didn’t need to do that,” Castiel said, frowning at Dean before shifting his body to watch the children as they appeared to be playing a game of tag.

“Come on, it wasn’t any different than what you did.”

“I was trying to get her to confront her bias about men being parents you were trying to humiliate her.”

“Her bias? You don’t have to put up with condescending shit.”

Castiel fixed Dean with a look typically reserved for Claire’s sass. “We will agree to disagree. Now, let’s try to wrangle the children. I am very interested in the butterfly exhibit even if the children seem to be in opposition.” Castiel got off the bench before Dean can reach for him. As he goes to speak with the children, he looked at Dean. He’s packing up everything back into Castiel’s back pack. A part of him knew it was not right to criticize Dean’s actions. They weren’t that bad. He knew the real criticism came from the fact that this was unknown territory for him. Dean—the man who never wanted to talk about “feelings and shit”—certainly enjoyed physical contact. He had no care in the world as he held hands or casually touched Castiel’s back or arm. It was the approach of a man that had no shame or fear.

While the children began the walk ahead, Dean put the backpack on. Castiel reached for his hand and then gave him a short, chaste kiss. Not caring who saw. It felt good to have Dean’s rough hand in his own as they walked. In the butterfly exhibit the children were delighted as they looked around the humid room filed with wild vegetation and flittering butterflies in every color of the rainbow.

“My brother wants to meet you,” Castiel finally said when they were seated on a bench.

“I’ve shown you mine already,” Dean replied with a grin across his face. “Come on, it’s just your brother. What’s the matter?”

“You of all people should understand it’s not _just_ my brother. He’s the one in my family I’m closest with.” Castiel shook his head, and paused when he saw he Jack freeze as a butterfly landed on his shoulder. “Besides if you meet him it’s only a matter of time before Anna hears about then she’ll tell my parents, and you’ll have to meet my entire family.”

“Would that be so bad?” Dean questioned, he looked to Castiel then immediately amended the statement: “Don’t get me wrong, parents hate me. Always have. Sam was the charmer.” Dean cleared his throat sat up straighter. “I just thought you would like that.”

Castiel thought of all the words he needed to say. But they got stuck in his throat, and the screams of delight of his children pulled him out. “I think I would. Let’s go see what trouble they’ve gotten themselves into.”


End file.
